To be so lucky {H.S.} ✔️

Chapter 16

Time flew by at an abnormally fast rate for the rest of the week. Soon it was Saturday, and Harry was leaving the next day.

We were sitting on my couch, watching some movie that Harry had picked, but I wasn't paying much attention. The knot that had been growing in my throat as the days went by, was almost at the point of suffocating me. Feeling like the oxygen supply in my leaving room wasn't enough, I stood up. "I need air."

Without further explanations, I walked out to the back porch, leaning on the balcony. Soon, Harry was behind me, stroking my back.

"We should talk, shouldn't we?" He was dreading that conversation as much as I was. It was clear in the tone of his voice.

I nodded, unable to turn to him for fear of melting down in his arms, crying.

"What do you want to do, Nina? About us."

Tears were severely close to falling. Clenching my fists, I held them in.

"I don't know, Harry. This... This thing we've been living... It's not real life. And as much as it tears me up inside, it can never be."

"Why not?"

I turned to face him, genuinely worried about his mental faculties. He half-smiled at my incredulous expression.

"I mean, I get why you'd think that. I am not a normal guy, although I really wish I was right now. If the future of this thing between us looks so difficult, I'm aware it's because of who I am."

I opened my mouth to counter his words, but he didn't let me, placing his index finger on top of my lips. "I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say because you and your big heart would never allow me to carry this burden alone, but... It is what it is. If I was Harry Styles, the lawyer, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Moving his hand to my neck, he kissed my forehead. "Funnily enough, that's exactly what I want to know: what would you want to do, if I wasn't this Harry that is always on the move, this Harry that is constantly being scrutinised by the media. Would you want me, then?"

Pulling him closer, I kissed his lips, softly. "I want you. And by you, I mean this Harry in front of me. I want you, no matter what comes with it. You are who you are, and..." I paused, looking at my feet.

"What?"

Gathering all my courage, I looked into Harry's eyes. The green was shining with unspilled tears. "You are who you are, and I absolutely adore that person. I never thought I'd say these words again, but... I love you, Harry Styles."

Tears running down his face, Harry closed his eyes, pulling me into his chest. "I love you too. More than I could ever put into words. But this still poses a dilemma... What are we going to do?"

I took a deep breath, preparing to say the words I'd been thinking about saying the whole week. Taking a step back, I looked him in the eyes. "I thought a lot about this, and I'm not ready to leave all this behind... My friends, my house... You had a point when you said I had managed to create a beautiful thing here."

Harry looked sad, his eyes staring at some point above my head, not really focusing. "I understand."

"Harry, look at me."

"Just... give me a second." His face contorted into a painful expression, and he tried to turn away from me. Grabbing his arms, I held him in place.

It seemed like every fiber in his body wanted him to break down, and Harry was having a hard time preventing it. Running my hands up his arms, until I reached his neck, I pulled his face down. "Baby, look at me. Please."