Holding Back

08 | revelations

It was hard for Anastasia to concentrate on her Calculus homework, her mother hadn't showed up tonight, it was already midnight and by this time, she would have been there but she wasn't. Anastasia felt an unsettling feeling at the bottom of her stomach but at the same time, she was relieved that there, sparing her from her vicious words.

The clock on her wall was ticking and so was her impatience growing, she thought of picking up her phone and giving her a call but she stopped, it was her life after all and she was no one to question her where she was. Anastasia sighed, the past few months had been a roller coaster ride for her, with so much happening, she couldn't understand anymore of anything.

The noise of the front door opening did not go unheard by Anastasia, she kept her books aside, getting up from the chair. There was complete silence in the house as if there was not a living person present, slowly, Anastasia made her way down to the living room. "Mom?" She called out ever so quietly.

Her mother wasn't in the living room so she moved into the kitchen to find out her mother was sitting down on the carpeted floor with her back resting against the cabinet. "Mother?" This had made Anastasia clearly worried, she looked miserable right now which made Anastasia scared even more.

Casey Morgan was quite not the person who could lose her shit so easily, not even a nuclear bomb would be ever able to break her spirit but right now things looked different. Her daughter had sat down next to her but at a distance, maybe she was scared that Casey would do anything to her. "I am not drunk tonight" Anastasia heard her say when a tear rolled down her eye, her mother had now started to cry.

"What's the matter Mom?" Casey sniffled, how was she going to tell her the truth? How would she be ever able to make things normal with her again? With tears filled in her eyes, Casey opened her mouth to speak but only air left her lips. "I....I am pregnant" Casey let put a shaky breath, she felt the weight on her shoulder lessen by telling Anastasia the truth.

The blank expression on Anastasia's face scared Casey, she could not understand for the very first time what was going inside her daughter's head. Anastasia got up, not meeting her eyes for once, she bit her lower lip as she thought about it again and again, containing herself from crying. Not wasting a minute near her mother, she ran away from there, out of the house.

Casey massaged her forehead, somewhere deep down, she was worried for her daughter.

†

It was dark outside, the sky was void of any clouds, the cold breeze that flew in the air was soothing. Anastasia sat on the big rock, a small rock in her hand, playing with it as she sat lost in her thoughts. The moon above was illuminating it's light, letting her see around herself, it was comforting. The lake in front of her looked vivid and magnificent, her own reflection had scared her sometimes.

There were only some stars surrounding the moon, the moon looked lonely. Anastasia threw the stone into the water, a rippling noise to be heard when the stone touched the water. In haste of leaving the house, she had forgot to take her phone and her nightdress wasn't helping either, it was thin and she felt cold.

The place where she sat was in the middle of the forest, it wasn't very far but it did need some minutes to reach the forest. Anastasia often used to come here with her dad when she felt her world crumble everytime, her dad would say absolutely nothing when they sat here as if he was giving her the space she needed. But that was years ago, she was small but her thoughts were always bewildered, she thought more than she acted.

Once again, Anastasia looked up at the sky, swallowing her tears, she wished there was someone she could talk to but the idea of telling everything about herself scared her. Alyssa knew about what had happened to Anastasia in these past few months in bits and pieces, she never forced it out of Anastasia's mouth. There was no meaning in just sitting and there and thinking about the impossible so Anastasia got up.

With tiny steps, she walked towards her home back, hoping her mother would be fast asleep by now and if not, she did not want to face her right bow, maybe tomorrow or day after tomorrow. The road was deserted, Anastasia was certainly not scared of walking down a complete empty road, alone. What made her stop in her tracks was the sound of a male, a similar voice.

Where she stood was in the front of the park's entrance, the same one where she met Damien. It made her heart stop for some seconds when Anastasia had come across the similar face, Damien Greg, once again. She felt that fate was playing some dirty game with her.

The next moment she heard Damien singing and not only he was just singing but also playing his guitar, she could not believe that he was playing the guitar so perfectly that it was mesmerizing to see him sing and play. It was dark but still she could look at his body, sitting on the bench, lost in his own world. Anastasia did not think that he was drunk this time, his voice did not shake.

Soon Anastasia was humming to the song he was playing, she did not bulge to come away from where she was standing. Damien indeed had so many shades that were totally unknown to her and maybe she would never discover what all talents he had buried deep down. She felt like a creep who was standing there and just listening to him sing, so she left from there.

Anastasia could not believe how the whole neighborhood was sleeping while he was singing in the middle of night. It did not take her much time before reaching back home, finding that the house was in complete silence. Still, she tiptoed when she climbed up the stairs, the bottle of alcohol did not go unnoticed by her in the living room as she walked past it.

The door of her room made a cracking voice when she opened it, cursing the door at the same time as she entered inside her room, closing it quickly and slowly. Her mind wandered back to the voice of Damien's, how melodic he sounded, creating a chaos inside her heart. Lying down on the bed, she closed her eyes, the last thing she remembered before sleeping was Damien's voice and face.

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"Cameron told me about the party he was hosting tonight, wanna join?" Anastasia lazily rubbed her eyes, a yawn escaping her mouth. Alyssa picked up a fry from the tray, waiting for her to respond back. "You know I don't want to, you can go Alyssa" It was the answer that Anastasia and Alyssa knew.

"Hey, I won't go without you" Alyssa assured her, she never had gone to a party without her best friend, she had some friends but not no one closer to her than Anastasia was. Alyssa grabbed the burger off the tray while her eyes looked at Anastasia who seemed to look around in the cafeteria.

Normally, they would eat in the library but now that the library restricted bringing food inside, they had no other choice but to eat in the cafeteria. The school campus was large but it had only a limited green area and it was where the jocks would be right now. Alyssa snapped her fingers in front of Anastasia, gaining her attention instantly. "Looking for someone?"

"Nope, just looking around" Anastasia sighed out, she was looking for someone or in particular, looking for Damien who seemed nowhere to be found. Before Alyssa could speak another word, the whole cafeteria turned silent, Anastasia looked around one more time to see what had made everyone suddenly so quiet.

Anastasia gulped down her milkshake, her eyes following the entrance of the cafeteria and she realized where Damien really was, with Daisy Marbles. He had his one arm around her shoulder, a blank expression on his face as he walked inside to the middle of the cafeteria.

"Here comes the player" Alyssa exclaimed, rolling her eyes as she watched the two of them sit down on the chairs. Maybe Alyssa disliked him so much because all these months, she heard so many rumours about him that she could not place a finger on what was true and what not. Anastasia on the other hand was certain that he wasn't as much a bad person, he just needed some guidance.

The next thing Anastasia knew was choking on her drink when she saw Damien and Daisy kissing while Damien's eyes were fixed on her and only her.