A Instagram AU
I do not have any social media so sorry if it does not look like other social media AU's
Includes:
Taekook
Namjin
Yoonminseok
Gayness
Little Space
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liked by Tae.Bear and 189 others
ThePanGenderSwitcher Y'all ready for another episode of my life? Its been a shit show really. So to start off, I was just sort of depressed after my last post, because i realized all my problems. But then during my 3rd period, around 1:30pm I started to have really bad anxiety attack for what seems to be absolutely no reason what so ever. So I didn't really do anything in the class. I tried to do my work when I was feeling a bit better, I only did about half of the work I normally would have done. But anyway, I tried calling my friend who I know I can trust. She didn't pick up because she was in class. But yeah, I tried to calm down and then it got worse, then better. To me it was really bad, my body felt numb, my chest has tight, my hands were shaking, i had trouble breathing and my eye sight was unfocusing then focusing again. Any way after class my friend called me, and we talked, i didn't tell her any specifics, just that I was having an attack, because i didn't know what to say, and didn't want to bother her too much. But it started to get bad again, okay so you know how so people cut when they are stressed, I scratch up my leg until it is really red and almost bleeding. But other then that, I didn't tell my friend because I didn't know what to say. So I had messaged my mom to help when my my friend hadn't picked up. I almost didn't go to class, but my friend convinced me to go, (I explained to the teacher, and he understood, and said it was fine and that if it happens again that I can take my time) then my mom came in, made me stop scratching and after I explained to the teacher I got a piece of my Halloween costume (Im planning to be Negasonic Teenage Warhead from Deadpool, so I get to be a butch lesbian yay) But it was a full body suit, boy what that did to my confidence, it did dropped because you can see everything. So then a bit later my mom convinced me to go in to the pool, for a change of scenery, and I did nothing for a while. I was starting to feel bad and regretful for talking about my parents like I did in the previous post because my mom was helping me and being nice. But then I told her about the depression tracker, everything is a bit blurry from here. I remember her saying that its all a "self-fulfilling prophesy" and then going on to say that if I continue to Act depressed, ACT, then it will never get better. And me being me, made the iconic joke, "Wow you cured me. I never thought to do that". At this point I realized she probably didn't understand that it was an illness, and thought it was just a mood. But she started to say that the only way to feel better was to exercise, which is my moms solution for everything in the world, that I need to exercise and then absolutely everything in my life will feel better. I asked her besides exercising what i could do, she then went on to say that shes not a professional, and im sitting here like well maybe I should go see one then? But I didn't say that. My mom started to say that I should try something new and do something I enjoy, Im just like 1st what is there to do? and 2nd, nothing really is enjoyable. After she started to ask questions, like do you enjoy this? I couldn't speak like I really couldn't, too many things were happening in my mind,these being the questions she was asking, "Self-fulfilling prophesy", and "ACTing depressed". Like I couldn't speak at all. She then asked if I was just going to ignore her, but I couldn't speak. So she just left. I am sorry for ranting so much today. I feel like im searching for attention, but trust me I am not, now I sound more like I am, whatever. I apologise for ranting and complaining. Ill try to update the actually plot line when im feeling better. So yeah. I did find out that lots of people are understanding, my teacher understood, and I missed my first MUN meeting, but they understood and filled me in. I feel really bad about it, because I feel like its just me coming up with an excuse. Other then that I hope you have a good day and you can always talk to me
