Broken Home

3

I found my way home from Paddington Station's bus stop. It was like retracing my steps from the night before. I climbed through my bedroom window that was left slightly ajar by a pencil from the night before. I threw my bag across the floor and looked at my reflection, which made me question myself. What am I doing here? Am I supposed to still be here? I forced the thoughts out of my head and brought myself to the present moment. I got out of my uniform and pulled on a black shirt that I wore to my Auntie Jess's wedding at the end of last year. I stepped into black trousers, black socks and reached for my favourite maroon beanie off my bedside and put it on with the guidance of the mirror. I strolled out of my room and went into the kitchen to peel a carrot and go back to my room. After I finished tying my shoes I grabbed my gig bag and left the house, by the same way that I entered.

I crossed Eastbourne Terrace and set myself up in my usual spot. The station was busy with waves of people trying to get to school in time for pick up. Again, I started with covers but I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't one with the music like I usually was. My bad mood must have rubbed off on the crowd because they weren't as generous as they normally were. As always, people asked for photos, but I declined. I normally liked playing in front of people, but I wasn't today. It felt as though there was a piece missing. I ended up packing up and heading home after playing a couple of songs. I wanted a drink and I saw the pub down the road but I pushed the thought almost instantly out off my head. Every picture I had seen off dad, he had a bottle of beer in his hand. He couldn't live without alcohol. I crossed the busy road and walked home. Mum's car was outside the front of the house so I entered that way. I put my gig bag down at the door and found mum hugging her knees on the sofa, crying. I walked over to the leather brown sofa and sat next to her.

"Hey, what's happened?" I asked softly.

"Dad came by," mum replied between her deep breaths. I wrapped my arms around her and let her collapse into my arms.

"I'm sorry Harry that you have to see me like this bu-".

"Don't you even go there. It's going to be okay. You're okay, just try and calm down." I let mum sit there for a while to collect her thoughts while I tried to collect mine. I was mixed with anger and frustration. Dad didn't have the right to come here after the way he treats mum and I.

"He said he saw you at school, and then Mrs Dodd rang saying you just walked out, just like that. She kept going on about how you're not yourself. She's worried about you. I'm worried about you."

"Don't be mum, I'm fine." I had so many questions swarming my head. I wanted to know how he turned out the way he did.

"See you're not even present in the moment," mum said lifting her head off my chest, looking into my eyes trying to look inside my head and read my thoughts.

"I'm sorry mum. I have homework." I said after moments of silence. I let go off her and gave her a half-smile and started to walk off, but she grabbed my hand.

"Harry, you can talk to me if you need to. I know there is a shadow behind your face." I hate making my mum worried or scared for me, it makes me feel bad that someone is worried about me, so much that it makes me not okay. I stay there looking at her for a minute and then shake my hand out of her grip, collected my guitar from the front door and walked off into my room. I slammed my door and locked it tight.