Broken Home

4

My thoughts were scattered everywhere but I knew that I wasn't okay. I wouldn't open up to mum, because that would be too much for her. I don't want to tell her that I want to hurt myself. I don't want to tell her anything. I slipped my shoes off and fell onto my bed. I was still for a while but I couldn't stay still any longer than I was. I felt all fidgety and had an urge to run. Instead, I sat up and looked at myself in the mirror. After minutes off looking deep inside myself I realised that I no longer had anything to live for. No, I can't think like that, I can't give up, I told myself. Everything I loved had been taken away from me. I could no longer play football and the crowd weren't as enthusiastic as usual. I pulled my beanie off my head and realised that I had several tears rolling down my cheek. My hair was sticking up in every direction possible in a very unorganised fashion. I decided to plug my earphones in and block out reality. I had messages but I wanted to disconnect with the outside world, so I ignored them. I sat myself down in the corner of my room, resting my head against the wall. I closed my eyes and tried to erase the thoughts from my head and slowly drifted off to sleep.

I woke up with a room filled with darkness. I stood up and rubbed my eyes and sleep fell from the corners of both and landed on my forefingers. I turned on my bedside light to find a note slipped under the door from mum 'tea's by your door. Hope all's okay -x'. I took my left earphone out of my ear and let it dangle down my black shirt that I was still wearing from the afternoon yesterday. I unlocked the door to find a ham and cheese toastie sitting on a tray wrapped in foil and bottle of water. Some part of me felt as though I was in prison but then I realised I was the one who locked myself in here, not mum. I picked up the tray with both hands and shut the door with my foot. I placed the tray on my bed and started to drain the bottle of water. Light slowly started to fill my room, leaving different shapes of light bouncing off of the walls. It wasn't long before I had no water left to drink. Crap. It's Saturday. Amy. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw that I had many unread messages. I opened her contact and started to read them all. Her final one suggests that we meet at Paddington Station around ten. Again, I sent her a simple no confusing reply which just said okay with a thumbs up emoji.

I quickly pulled off my shirt, took a towel off of the floor and walked down the corridor to the bathroom for a shower. While I was drying off every droplet of water off my naked body, my feet were slipping in the little puddle of water on the floor. I tightly wrapped a towel around my waist and made my way back to my room. I slammed the door shut and started throwing clothes that were all over the floor, trying to find a clean shirt. Finding clean pants were easy. Just the everyday black pants that I was wearing moments before. I found a reasonably clean blue shirt inside my football bag. After getting dressed, I ran back into the bathroom and started to dry my hair. Whenever I stopped the hair dryer, I could hear mum talking from her bedroom, and another voice was to. A more masculine and deeper voice. Eventually, curiosity got the better off me and I went to see what was going on. I opened the door slightly and I was lost for words. There was a man in bed with my mother. I stood there silently but mum could sense the unwanted presence in her room and turned to look at me.

"Harry this isn't as bad it looks, ...I...can explain," mum whispered desperately.

"You don't need need to explain."

"It's not as bad as it looks," Mum repeated.

"Well it sure sounds bad. You're sleeping with a stranger and..." My words wandered then it hit me, but it couldn't be true.

"How long has this been going on for?" I didn't want my theory to be correct but by the look on mum's face my it was.

"19 years."

"Dad isn't my real dad is he?"

"No, he is," mum said pointing to the stranger beside her.

"And you don't know why dad treats us like this," I said sarcastically.