Written January 13th, 2015
The more you're around me you destroy me and the more I think of you I want to die. I don't know what you're doing me, you're giving mixed signals and it's tortuous, you enjoy my suffering. You act like you care and throw me away, I need to disappear, far away from you, and just looking at you makes me want to disappear. I want to avoid you, can't you see that? I don't want you around to cause me any pain just please stay away. Whenever I try to get away I end up hurting you, but you have no idea how much pain I'm in if I don't leave you. I hate each day I see you and I'm at my happiest without you, I know it's wrong and selfish but why does it matter? I hate feeling this way I never wanted to die so badly before it's almost too much to handle. If I were to drop dead right this second I wouldn't mind at all, I would finally be at peace and never feel so sad and depressed again. I'm sorry but you destroyed me, more than anyone has, I thought I felt true pain, but you just keep killing me, why not just put me out of my misery? I'm going to stay away, but for good this time, without you even knowing, I'm done tolerating all this pain you're causing me. I'll escape, it's going to hurt you a lot I know but it's for the best, I'm sorry.
