Rival

My confession about my selfish needs

It's been a month since Bom moved into our school. Nothing changed because Bom was still popular, getting along with everybody, and I was still a loner. The only difference was that Bom's eagerness of trying to talk to me increased. Tragically the seating arrangement we got assigned on the first day was permanent so I was stuck with her for the whole grade eleven. Other people- mostly guys- would have done anything to change seats with me but of course our teacher never allowed it.

                  So after surviving days and weeks of Bom approaching me everyday with that grin, and then her eyebrows burrowing in confusion after I replied with a snide comment, I became more used to it.

Everyday as I entered the classroom I knew that the same voice would call out to me to wish me a good morning. I wished she would stop because I was running out on how I should react. However, I was half pleased that she was paying attention to me. Even though I constantly ignored her, she would never take 'no' for an answer. So one day, to make her happy I walked into the class determined to do something I haven't done in such a long time. I took a seat as she said the same good morning to me again- I've lost count on how many times.

                  "Good morning," I replied back, trying to sound not to annoyed and forced.

                  Bom seem to be pleased. Her reply back to me was an even bigger smile.

                  After that I tried to practice replying to her frequent greetings. This way it could become a regular habit for me to greet others kindly without any show of ignorance, annoyance, or hatred. However, even though my body became more and more relaxed with this girl beside me, I couldn't help but feel tensed at this small amount of doubt in the back of my head. That Bom would suddenly stop her interest in me, and that I would have to face the rest of my life in high school without being noticed. It didn't sound so horrible before, but reality dawned upon me, more terribly than it ever had. Everyday I would hold down that tense feeling inside me. I would just wait until the destined moment comes and I am once again left alone with no one else to talk to.

                  Our school was beginning to greet the regular, cheerful holiday of Christmas. The hallways were decorated with paper snowflakes, and each classroom was colored with Christmas lights. While everyone else was in a good mood, me the modern girl Charlie Brown sat down in my original spot in the cafeteria by myself and reviewed my notes for our finals. The final, which was still two months away, was going to be extra hard because all of our teachers were known to be evil when it comes to making tests- especially finals. I had to get the first in the class again. It is my top priority in school. The only reason I still come to school is to show everyone how good I am. How I'm such an amazing person and that I would be the one laughing in the end when I succeed and is accepted into a top university while they are stuck in some down right poor and unacknowledged college.

                  I noticed around lunch that Bom seemed busy too.

                  It was lunch time and I was staying behind to cover some things in the science lab. Some of the girls from our class were waiting for Bom to come with them to eat.

                  However, Bom didn't seem to want to eat. Her desk was messy with piles of paper, each clump of paper labeled by a subject's names. They were most likely for the finals as well. I was impressed that she was as hard core in studying as I was. Obviously her friends were surprised as well because they questioned hwy she was studying for the finals now. Even though we were a top elite school, it's not like we were mechanical machines and all we do is study and review notes. Some of us- excluding me- actually have a life.