I clutched my hands and bit my lips firmly. Letting my tears to fall down is another meaning of giving up; thus, I remained strong while I wait.
The automatic glass door has opened. When the guy on his gown has looked into my eyes, the tears I was holding back suddenly dropped.
"I'm sorry," he uttered.
He left us like a wind before an agony of wail echoed along the air.
That day was the most painful break up I've ever had.
Now, five years have passed. It would be funny to say that I never thought of him from time to time.
Just seeing his picture on my phone screen, I cry. Listening to his voice record, I cry. Sitting inside a bus alone, I cry. And even before I sleep, I always cry. It is really hard to move on when we broke up just because life cheated on us.
Today could be our 7th year anniversary if only he's alive. I am hanging out alone inside a coffee shop we used to study at during our college years. I ordered two espresso, one for me and one for the empty space across mine.
Without any sign, I cried again.
When suddenly, a man sat down on that empty seat. "The Espresso is getting cold. Can I have this instead?" he flung a question.
I wiped my tears very quick before I answered, "No. It is not for you."
"Oh," he gasped. "I didn't expect this response." I saw him bit his lower lip and scratched his nape as he dropped his gaze. The embarrassment was all written to his face which made me feel guilty somehow.
However...
"If you are looking for someone to flirt with, then don't waste your time on me," I said with authority.
This guy is undeniably handsome. His eyes reminded me of a ferocious eagle; big yet sharp. His nose is pointed and his jaws were drawn symmetrically. It's possible that he only approached me with bad intention.
"Then, can I lend you my handkerchief?" he offered then placed a blue lines patterned handkerchief on the table between us. He stood up and left without few words to say.
That also... surprised me.
He wasn't flirting. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to apologize if ever we see each other again.
The next week after, I came back at the same shop and sat at the exact seat. I ordered two ice Americano just like how I always do.
"You're here again. But this time, you aren't crying anymore," this familiar voice spoke to me.
I never expect that our second meeting will be today!
"Are you a regular customer of this shop?" I asked.
"Yup. You are a regular customer too, right?"
Reasons behind his approached became clear as water. "Yes. I apologized for my last behavior."
"No. It's normal," he chuckled.
"I wanted to give your handkerchief back but some things happened and I forgot to bring it with me."
"Really? Then you can keep it."
I would be less bother but his handkerchief looks so expensive so I won't accept this kindness.
"No. I'll give it back. When do you plan to go back here? Let's meet again."
Silence settled for a moment. 'Did I sound like I am flirting with him?!' I gasped inside my mind. 'No! I need to correct my words!'
