Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

All I Want

They wouldn't let me work in the newly built temporary infirmary. They told me to take a break and try to relax.

It's been two days since Nico died. He would probably deny that people cared about him or would miss him but his death affected everyone. What was left of the seven was a mess. Jason had lost both his best friends and never left his cabin. Percy started a drinking problem and Annabeth left him. I was diagnosed with depression.

Today was the day the Romans came to make a deal with the camp but I had a feeling that was the last thing on their minds. Nico talked about Hazel and Reyna a lot. And I knew he loved them both. And I knew they loved him also.

I walked over to the cabin. Cabin 13. It was where they were keeping Nico until the ceremony. I sit on the steps, too scared to actually go inside. It made my chest hurt and I wish I could get this pain away but I just can't . I can't cry or scream or be upset. I was just an empty void.

I wait. And wait. And wait. Then they come. They looked as good as I felt.

Reyna's braid was untidy with thick chunks of hair that had come out and were now framing her face like shadows of the branches of a dying tree. Hazel's hair had the similar look to a rat's nest and her cheeks were tear stained, eyes puffy. Frank just looked really stressed.

The trio made their way closer to where I was sitting on the front steps to the Hades cabin. Percy jogged over to them, they stopped and whisper. I could see Frank's eyes constantly glancing over in my direction.

Then Hazel broke down. She clamped her hand over her mouth and fell to her knees. Her sobs were loud and easy to hear even with her covering her mouth. Percy just watches her, a sobbing mess on the ground. His hands are shaking. He's drunk.
Again.
Frank squats down next to her. He whispers to her, consoling her. Reyna looks away and walks up to me. She stands there, perfect posture, expressionless face. I look her in the eye, they're a dark brown, not as dark as Nico's, but dark.

"Is he...?" she says, her eyes focused on the door behind me. I nod standing up. I want to see him again.

Together we walk to the door, my arms feel like jelly as I push the door open. The whole cabin was redecorated by Nico and a little bit of architectural help from Annabeth. Nico would sometimes spend the nights when the Hephestus kids were rebuilding in my cabin, snuggling with me, letting me hold him close. My chest clenches at the memories that swirl around in my head.

I lead Reyna into the dimly lit room.

There he lay. On the bed he usually slept in. The bed we used to snuggle on. The bed I fell asleep with him on. The bed he lay dead on.

Reyna doesn't make a move. I don't make a move, so we just stand there, looking over his body, only to steps in the door way. He looks so peaceful, almost as if he was just sleeping. But he wasn't, he was gone. He was all gone.

He didn't look gone, wearing his usual dark skinny jeans, usual dark band shirt. But what you didn't see was the layer of bandages underneath covering the dark,thick, deep, fleshy,claw marks reaching across his pale torso. The bandages I applied, not wanting anyone else to touch him. He was mine, and he will always be mine.

I feel a warm large hand rest on my shoulder making me jump and turn my head. I meet the face of Frank Zhang. He looks at me sympathetically. I know in all the books and movies that no on ever wants sympathy but yes, I want sympathy. I want the pity because gods dammit I think I deserve it, I just lost the love of my life, my everything, my angel, my Nico... I don't think I'll ever get over him...I don't think I want to.

"N-Nico," Hazel's voice quavered. She takes a shaky step forward away from the door way. Step. Step. Step. Then she races forward falling over his motionless body.

Her shoulders shakes as she sobs hard clutching on tightly to his torso her face buried in his chest.

I wish I could've saved him, I could've done something. I'm so stupid, why didn't I? 'Too late now, get over it' he would've said,then he would've hugged me, and give me a kiss, and whisper the sweetest things in my ear and make all my pain disappear.

"That bastard."

I look to my right, the first words uttered from Reyna since she arrived.

"You selfish bastard," she sobs out, tears streaming down her face. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WE LOVE YOU!?! AND THAT WE CARE ABOUT YOU!?! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DIE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!?? WHY'D YOU LEAVE ME...why'd you leave me?" She cries falling to the ground.

"Heyyyyyy. Whatsssup?" Percy enters, his slurry breath smells of heavy liquor. I want him to leave. Reyna stands up.

She walks up to him and his goofy smile. She raises her fist into the air and smashes it down right on the hero's nose. Percy flies back falling out of the room and landing hard the stairs, he rolls down them. Something in him broke, anyone could hear...that sickening snap.

I should help him, I should rush down the stairs and help the drunk, broken boy...I don't...because I don't want to. So I turn to Reyna and though I don't know her well I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and cries. I wish I could cry like her, cry until it became painful, but I can't. I can't. I can't.

The room is filled with sobs and tears, even Frank began to cry.

And then it happens....

Something inside me breaks.

I let go of Reyna, I walk out the door, down the steps, past Percy who groans, and stop right in front of the Hades cabin and fall to my knees.

A soft hiccup escapes my mouth. I look up to the clear sky...I scream. I scream ad loud as I can. Everything around me stops but I don't stop my continuous scream. I can here myself, I sound tortured. It sounds horrible. But I don't stop until all that comes out is air. I look down at the grass at my knees. A single tear falls and lands on my faded home cut jean shorts. Then another. And another. And another. The next thing I know my face is flooded with tears and I'm sobbing so hard I gasp for air and every bone and muscle in my body hurts and aches.

The world around begins to glow a shining white, to bright and it hurts. A crowd began to gather around me, and they all shield their eyes. Then I realize the source of the light. Me.

I'm glowing, but I don't care. I sob hard and with each cry in agony that left my lips I grew brighter.
Then everything went black.

The darkness reminds me of Nico's dark, beautiful eyes.
Nico.
Nico.
Nico.
Nico.

All I want is my angel back.