The Finest Line [h.s]

chapter 10- oh, anna!

october 2017 (flashback)

HARRY'S POV

It's been two months since I saw her face.

It's been two months since I said goodbye to that old London apartment that I had spent so much of the past four months in. It's been two months since I saw the elevator door close on her narrow hallway, allowing me to have one last glance of her rainbow-painted door that now I associated with home. It's been two months since I packed up all of my shit and put it into a bag and went along with only a note in my trail.

It's been two months since I left her.

If you asked me why I left the way I did, I would give you two reasons. One: I was mid- a panic attack that was ongoing for the previous two days. For some reason, I thought that leaving was the best way to clear my thoughts. In stages of panic, things do not make sense nor do they have any concern for how other people feel. But the 'leaving' idea in my mind meant leaving behind everything that I could at the moment. That meant plans with family, meetings with important people, tour rehearsals. But it also meant leaving Allie.

The second reason was what my mother had told me after she slapped the back of my head when I showed up at her doorstep. And I quote: "You're a proper fuckass if you believed that she wasn't one of the best things to happen to you."

Thanks, mom, I agree with you.

But now, here I was, sitting in my dressing room in Paris trying to come up with a way to get back to London so that I could see her again.

I just miss her, and it's all my fucking fault. I know this, but I don't want to accept it.

I wonder what she's doing right now.

Don't know where you're laying

I just know that she's probably writing or taking pictures. She was so fucking talented, and she never realized it. It was just something she had always brushed off or said 'thank you' and tried to move the subject off of her.

I wonder if she thinks about me as much as I think about her.

Fuck that, she definitely was not thinking about me. She was the strongest woman that I had ever met. It was her undeniable power and ability to conquer any task that initially drew her to me. Her beauty was just a side factor.

I just wish she was curled into my side right now.

But she's not.

Just know it's not with me

Even though I want to see her with all of my beings, I would be an actual nervous shitshow if I did see her face again. Don't know what I would do either, probably just try and hide. I would probably prepare myself for a right cuss-out, or most likely a swift slap to the face and a kick to the stomach. She made me a ball of nerves even with her being however many miles she was away from me.

Don't know what I'd tell you if

But, if I ever did run into her; I think the first thing that I would do would be to apologize as quickly as possible. But for what it's worth, she would most likely keep walking down the street without paying any attention to me. Which would be ok. Because I was scared.

I passed you on the street

I remember one night while we were sitting up on the roof, we talked about our biggest fears. I told her honestly that it was terrifying to be back in the music industry alone without any other people to help guide you through it. It was odd doing album shoots and promo and releasing music without the people you've grown up with by your side. My biggest fear was that I would never be able to feel that same rush of adrenaline that I had always felt with being with the boys when we went on stage.