The Misadventures of Captain Save A Hoe

Part 3

Don G and Rella made it home with the new baby boy. The house that they lived in was nice for something in the hood. As they were pulling in to the driveway, the neighborhood kids ran up to the car. One of the kids was named BJ. He was the leader of this group of hood kids. He saw that Rella had something in her arms.

"Yo, what's that thing in your arms? Come on show me, Rella..." Before he was able to finish what he was about to say Rella slapped the shit out of him.

"That's not how you fucking talk to a lady!" she shouted. BJ's eyes grew big with tears and all he could really say was sorry. "Okay, that's better now. This here is our new little accident." She said with a smile.

One the kids asked what the name of the child was. Right then both Rella and Don G looked at each other then back at the baby. They never thought about what they were going to name him. 

"Well, we'll take care of the naming thing later." said Don G. The kids ran off to go play night tag or something. Rella and Don G got out the car, opening the door for his wife and new son. He went back to get the pimped out space ship.

Later that night after smoking half the weed they had. Don G began to say "Okay babe, I think it's time that we name the baby."

"Yeah, we should call him weed or something like that." She said too high to even keep her eyes open.

"No, that's not a good name. We should just call him the name on the ship." He said.

"But what if that's the name of the ship?" She asked, taking another blunt in her hand.

"Why does the name of the ship even matter?" He asked, the confusion clear on his black face. 

"What if we're calling for our son and the ship shows up." She asked with a hearty laugh. "No but really it's cool with me if we name him Captain." she said, taking a hit of the blunt that she had in her hand.

Over the next week the Louders found out that the baby they had taken in was stranger than anything they could have ever imagined.

One day Rella was preparing a meal before rolling up so she left Captain in his playpen. While she was in the kitchen, she heard a noise form the other room. She walked into the room to a sight that would make any weed smoking parent proud, Captain was rolling a blunt.

"I must still be tripping is he really rolling a blunt? Hold on I need to keep calm right now. I really need one hit of that blunt right now." She said as she took the rolled blunt from Captain's hands. She took a hit. "Oh my fuckin god! It's like it's been grounded to perfection and rolled with hands that have been blessed by God himself!" She said as she took hit after hit from the blunt. She put Captain back into his playpen to make a call to Don G at work.

Let's just say that the only job that Don G had was in the streets because nobody makes a move without his say so. She got the phone to make the call.

"Hey baby I can't really talk right now. I'm in the middle of work." Rella heard someone in the background talking.

"Please Don G! I don't know! I didn't mean to steal from you! Please spare me! Please!" the voice pleaded.

"Hey shut him the fuck up. I'm on the fuckin phone!" He yelled, he was surprisingly chill compared to the other person. "Okay baby, what was it that you needed me?" he asked.

 "Oh yeah, I think there's something weird going on with Captain!" She exclaimed.

"Why do you say that? What happened?" He asked, still calm as the sound of something repeatedly hitting something or should I say someone was heard in the background.

"I was cooking and I heard a noise from the other room. So when I walked into the room, Captain was rolling a bomb ass blunt!" She said in a matter of fact way.

"Oh so what you're telling me is that the baby was rolling up a blunt and you smoked the blunt that a baby just rolled?" He said.

"Yeah, Don that's what I'm saying. I really did see him do it!" she was trying her hardest to make him believe her but she was too high to put up a real fight.

"Haha, okay. Rella, I'll be home as soon as I'm done here, okay?" he asked but before he was able to hang up the phone someone started to talk.

"Hey boss what do you want to do with this guy?" the new voice asked.

"Oh man, I almost forgot about that guy. Hmm just take his hand. Then drop him somewhere, I'm needed at home." He said, as he hung up the phone.

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