Escapism Of The Lunatics

11 | Remnants of Peter

I wish I could say this is the worst things could possibly get. I wish I could say the grass is greener on the other side of this shitpile, but I knew this was just the beginning.

I kissed my enemy and slept with his enemy; I don't know what to think.

After my midnight encounter with Peter I was left with my mouth agape. His words spoken to me today were still lingering in my head:

"You are mine. Never forget that. And if that isn't enough for you, then listen closely. I will strip you away of all that you know, all that you love."

"Now that I know what you taste like, know what you sound like. I want more. I'm going to take it until there nothing left for you to give. I'm going to ruin you, my little robin."

The mere memory brought chills. His words almost convinced me he was right: that I was his. I despise the way he thinks of me. That I'm an object. A toy in his game. I kept questioning why I kissed him back. He was the monster from my nightmares.

"I was once like you. So alone and unhappy. Gripping on to the ones who you cared about although they didn't need you. "

Peter's voice rang in my head again. He was right. Marcus never needed me; I gripped onto him like velcro because being his older sister seemed like the only thing I was good at. I was incapable of doing anything right, but i could make Mark happy whenever he was sad. The night he left, I failed as a sister. The only thing that kept me content at being the pathetic person I was, was gone.

Peter knew how that felt. To feel like dry dirt that was constantly being stomped at. For a brief second I saw a boy in his eyes; not the monster he makes out to be. I think that was the boy I kissed, well I hope. The story the fire pit tales when Peter was playing his pipe that night of a boy hurt from a man, most likely his father. Maybe that boy was Peter. A thought crossed me.

The devil was once an angel too.

I shook my head. I can't feel this way. He wanted innocent children to fight in a war. He had banished lost boys in the past. Killed them. I can't feel this way for him. I had to focus on my plan. I really hope Rumple sends me a message soon; I don't know how much longer I can last here.

The next morning I woke up from a dreamless sleep; Dreading to face the consequences from the events of last night. Thomas still refused to speak to me this morning and ignored my existence. I wanted to tell him the truth about the arrangement Peter and I have, but I don't want him to get hurt. If Peter found out he knew, then I don't think he would hesitate to kill him.

Once I was dressed, I left the treehouse. It was a little chilly so I wore an extra jumper. I thought Peter could control the weather? He could at least have the decency to not let us freeze to death.

Breakfast was a little quiet between Charlie, Ian, Frankie, Tom and I, because of our little screaming match yesterday. The other Lost Boys constant chatter drowned the awkwardness thankfully. Today we had training and for the first time it was something to my relief; I needed to blow off some steam. Once we all headed to the training grounds.

We ordered ourselves in a perfectly straight line in front of Pan, like if they were at some sort of military camp.

"Boys!" Pan's usual greeting, he echoed through the clearing. Suddenly, everyone quieted down as the rest of the boys silenced.

Once they were all correctly positioned, which took a surprisingly short amount of time, he then started circling us like a predator. Pan stood tall in front of his lost boys, his hands folded professionally behind his back, watching us with a stern eye.