smultronställe

IX.

Jaeeun's okay.

You shouldn't be surprised, and you aren't, not in the slightest, because you have more faith in Chenle and Jisung than should be humanly possible. The two of them stand off in one corner of the room, leaning against each other as Jaemin rushes to his daughter's bedside. She's still asleep - it's likely she won't be awake until the morning comes, simply because she's young and she's just undergone brain surgery. It's natural, you tell yourself. It's normal.

Jaemin gingerly wraps his hand around Jaeeun's, leaning in to press a kiss that's gone as soon as it's placed against her forehead. It's almost as if he's afraid to touch her. You can't blame him, not considering the rollercoaster of emotions he must still be processing, but the thought that he's holding himself back from doing the thing he loves most in the world - showing his love for his daughter - breaks your heart clean in half.

It's only when you catch sight of the clock in the corner of the room that you realize you've only just officially gotten off shift, and that you've spent most of the last few hours sitting silently with Jaemin as both of you put your minds towards Jaeeun. You hadn't had any surgeries, and you hadn't gotten paged, so you suppose Doyoung and Taeyong aren't likely to have your head for offering a friend your support.

Not that Jaemin is just a friend.

You shuck off your lab coat, and Chenle reaches out to take it from you, softly nudging you towards Jaemin in the process. He must realize that the issue between the two of you has dissipated. In any other instance, you'd leave to change into your civilian clothing.

Jaemin looks at Jaeeun. You look at Jaemin. Everything in you compels you to stay, so you do.

You almost want to consider yourself weak for accepting his apology on the same day as he'd given it to you, but you can't cause more unnecessary angst for Jaemin. Wanting to stay a part of his life and wanting to stay a part of Jaeeun's life are not crimes. Living by your neurotransmitters - namely dopamine and serotonin - is a valid choice to make, so you've made it. It is harder to choose happiness than it should be, but as you watch the young girl's chest rise and fall as she sleeps, you know you've made the right decision.

It will take some time for you and Jaemin to find the rhythm you'd originally established, but it will not take forever. You make your way to stand beside him, resting your hand on his bicep as a show of support. To show him that you're there, that you meant it when you said you're here for him and his daughter. He loops an arm around your waist instinctually, drawing you the tiniest bit closer to his side.

You don't know how long the two of you stay like that, watching Jaeeun sleep peacefully. The next time you look up, away from your loves, you find that you three are the only ones left in the room. Eventually, Jaemin offers you the seat right next to his daughter's bed, only for you to decline and tell him to have it. Time is relative, and he's had a longer night than you have. He stalls, almost as if he doesn't want to look away from Jaeeun for even the shortest of milliseconds, but ends up pulling the chair closer to him rather than moving over towards it.

You check the time on your phone. 3:38 a.m.

"Should I get you something to eat?" It's a simple enough question, though you have to ask it twice before Jaemin looks up at you. The cafeteria is always open, and you know that you can get something or the other even at this time. Before Jaemin can answer - he's about to say he's good, thanks, but if you want anything you're free to go get it - his stomach answers for him, a loud grumble breaking through the air as if it's glass.

Jaemin sighs and runs a hand over his face, a slow pink flush creeping against his cheeks. He nods almost imperceptibly, squeezing Jaeeun's hand as he does.