Stay ✓

Chapter 9: clouds

Mai's pov

My feet took me wherever they wanted to. I wasn't paying attention to anything in the slightest. They just moved by themselves around the village.

It was particularly brisk out tonight. The air is cold against my skin and the wind was rapidly blowing.

I don't really know how to describe my feelings lately. That seems to be the only thing on my mind though, is my feelings.

Sometimes I'm able to feel things, like when I was watching the free clouds in the never ending vast sky. I felt calm and soothed.

But, when I'm back into this reality, that's when my feelings change completely. It feels like someone is forcefully submerging my head underwater. I'm drowning, my lungs are starting to fill with the cold water and my breath is being taken from me. My arms and feet are frantically moving trying to get me to go back to the surface, but no matter how hard I try, it doesn't work.

That's how it feels to live in this world. Nothing good ever happens, it's one tragedy after another. So, why go on anymore if that's all we get? Endless suffering. That's what the world's definition is. A place where humans live to endure endless suffering and pain.

No part of me wants to do it anymore. I want to be the clouds, I want to be on the clouds. No duties, no pain, just gliding freely along the blue sky.

Is there a meaning in life? We live to die. So why not just end all of the pain and take away your own life?

I reached a spot outside of the village. A enormous cliff that had nothing but rocks and dirt down below. When you look at the view you can see almost all of Konoha.

I sat down and let my legs dangle off the edge of the cliff. My hands gripped the dead grass that laid beside me.

A colorful elegant butterfly that was covered in multiple shades of blue flew towards me. That butterfly sent me into a flashback.

"I'm so tired big sister." The seven year old pouted.

The older sister gave her a understanding smile. "Okay, we can stop here for today."

Maiko's eyes brightened as a gentle blue butterfly fluttered around them.

Mai jumped and hid behind her big sister gripping tightly on her pants. She hated insects that could fly.

"Mai, don't be scared. It's just a loving butterfly. They happen to be my favorite. Watch." Maiko reassured and Mai came out from hiding.

The butterfly landed on Maiko's shoulder. "They don't hurt you. They are gorgeous creatures. The patterns on their wings are what got me to like them."

Mai was able to be persuaded and she got close to the butterfly to examine it thoroughly. Her eyes scanned each color and pattern on the wings.

"You're right, sissy! They are pretty!" The young girl yelled.

"They're like you big sister! Nice and beautiful."

Maiko warmly smiled. "They can be your favorite too. If you want."

Mai's eyes glistened. "Wow! Butterflies are my new favorite! Just like you!"

As Mai embraced her sister in a tight hug the butterfly flew away in the distance.

My eyes staring to sting with threatening tears. I stuck out my finger and the butterfly delicately landed on top of it.

I could no longer hold back the immense tears that were begging to be let out. I blinked and the salty tears rolled down my cheeks.

It wasn't long before uncontrolled sobs emerged from my throat. The butterfly flew away and I covered my eyes with my cold hands.

"I.. need... you.. big.. sister." My voice cracked as I tried to speak through my crying.

I stood up off the ground and gazed at the gravel below. It was so easy for me to just take one more step and release myself from this cruel world.

Everything would be easier. I could finally see Maiko again and get away from my black hole of a life.

"If you're caught being out here Lord Third will have it out for you." Sasuke. At a time like this, really?

A sudden outburst of rage possessed me and I stomped over to the Uchiha and shoved him backwards. His usual straight face twitched and his dark eyes widened slightly.

"The hells your problem?" He spat.

"Right now, it's you!" I angrily yelled back.

He scoffed. "Like I even care."

"I know you don't care!"

"Go ahead and cry. What do you even have to cry about anyways? You don't know the first thing about pain!" His words spat venom at me.

I don't know pain? My life is pain!

"Stop assuming you're the only god damn person in this world who's gone through something!"

"At least you have a family! Just shut up, you know nothing." That was the last thing he spoke before heading into the woods.

~

"Where have you been?"

"Training." I flatly reply to my father.

"Good. Go to bed."

I don't have to be told that twice. At least I'm able to get some peace while I'm not awake to see this world.

How could Sasuke be so rude to me? Does he not remember the days were use to laugh together? We were inseparable. After his clan was wiped out by Itachi, I didn't blame him for falling into a depression.

I just didn't expect him to drop me. I saw Itachi as a brother figure since he and my sister were dating. Sasuke was my best friend, we would hangout everyday together.

He had something left. He had me. I was going to help him feel happy again. But, he didn't let me. Instead, he decided to hate me and everything I do.

How selfish can Sasuke be? Why would he chose to stay unhappy? All I want in life is to feel happy again. I don't understand how a person could chose depression.

If he wants to hate me then I'll hate him too. I tried so hard to be caring towards him even when he would spit unforgettable words at me.

But, why does a part of me still desire to help him?

~