The Bite | Eren x Mikasa •Sad•

Chapter 4: Pain and Loss.

Love and Hate. These two concepts are so similar, yet so far apart of each other. You act recklessly out of love, and act recklessly out of hatred. One of those emotions you can't control. It made me realise, that maybe every ounce of love I've had for anyone has been eaten up by the dark, impurity, hatred I have. Like I saw in the white corridor, when I lay eyes to all my negative feelings mustered into a reflection, I couldn't even move, or cry. It was horrifying.

~

"Wake up to reality. Nothing ever goes as planned in this cruel world. The longer you live, the more you realise that this world and everything in it only gives off pain, suffering, and futility." The impure Eren said as he walked closer, and closer to Pure Eren who was still shaking in fear, and tried to move back as the Impure Eren walked towards and went on one knee.

(This quote is from Madara in Naruto, credit given where it's due).

"Let me take over Eren. Let me show the world true justice." He said as the bloody hallway grew thicker, and thicker, Eren could hear shouting, screaming and everything that comes with the idea of Hatred.

Eren covered his ears to muffle the scream, looked down with wide eyes and was completely traumatised. Given the moment in time, it looked futile, and all hope seemed to be lost until he saw another memory of him and Mikasa.

"Stop being reckless, Eren." Mikasa said as Eren rubbed his back and got up from the snow, in slight pain. However, as soon as he got up, he fell crashing back to the ground.

"L-Leave it... I can get up myself.." Eren replied, but his body gave up on him eventually, and he just rested on the floor. But, he felt two hands start massaging his back and instantly knew it was Mikasa, "Stop it Mikasa! I don't always need you to babysit me-."

However Mikasa gritted her teeth and replied in a slight loud tone, "Stop saying I'm babysitting you! Just because I care for you doesn't mean I'm babysitting you, you just mean so much to me."

Eren widened his eyes in shock, as his mother had died, he never thought anyone still cared for him. He thought the world around him meant nothing.

Slowly and steadily, the alarming red walls turned back to white, as Eren stopped shivering and slowly got up. "You're wrong. Yes, the world contains pain, suffering and futility, but they also contain love, happiness and joy. I won't succumb to you."

In a flash, the entire hallway turned back to red, and the impure Eren suddenly screamed as it got lost under all the happy memories her cherished. He never got rid of it, nobody could, but for the first time, he remembered what was precious to him.

(Play the song above, it's gonna get real😔 Read kinda slowly!)

Slowly, Eren regained consciousness of his titan form and roared to let everyone know he was back in control. However, Levi stood on top of his head with a blank expression on his face, "Oi... do you know what you just did.." He said as he couldn't believe his eyes.

Eren was slightly confused, and didn't know what he was saying until he moved; this very image of what he saw haunts him to this day.

"Oi... Armin get up.." Eren said as he ripped himself out of his titan from and descended down to Armin, who had been completely crushed, "Armin, Armin...Armin...!"

Eren shook his lifeless corpse, hoping that he'd wake up, but it was to no avail. Levi sat on the evaporating titan's head, feeling helpless and weak once again. Unable to save another life, he felt utterly useless. He saw in the corner of eye limping towards Eren, and instantly darted and stopped her, "You don't want to see this..."

But Mikasa couldn't believe it as she tried to push away Levi, reaching out to Armin's body, but Levi stopped her, "Armin... ARMIN...!" She cried out loud, completely haunted by it.

-At the Funeral-

Eren approached the casket where Armin lay, fighting back the tears that were threatening to burst behind his eyes, "Armin... I thought of what to say for the past week, but every time I think about it I just start crying and fall into a dark place. But Armin, I don't think you can ever forgive me for what I've done, and I don't expect you to. This past decade and a half, you were always there for me, and I never knew how much worth that had until... I killed you. I don't know what to say, for fucks sake! Why do I have to destroy everything that comes close to me..."

Eren said as tears finally came steaming down his cheeks as he slumped his head on the casket, "If only I could go back in time, I would've never have let this happened... Armin, you are like my brother- no, you were my brother. Even if we weren't bounded by blood, we had a connection that nobody else had, and I'm eternally grateful for not only that, but the fact you made sure I was good, when all hope turned against me. When nobody else believe in me, you were there... Rest easy brother."

All of a sudden, Eren felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to see Armin, but he was transparent. Almost like a ghost, "Don't worry Eren. I forgive you. Just make sure you see the ocean for me. And you better not come and join me for a while, survive until the very end."

With that, he vanished, and Eren's mind was slightly put at ease, but he couldn't stop the tears from falling. As the Military Corps dragged him away, he let out a smile. Knowing that his friend had forgiven him. He could rest easy.

~

My hatred was correct. Everything that I loved would go, everyone that was close to me would die. Sometimes I wonder if I just killed myself, maybe I'd finally find peace in abyss. But that isn't the story, this story, is how I lost everything precious to me. Eventually losing myself.