🌸chapter five🌸

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**does anyone have amino? I got it the other day but I'm really shy with new people so I'd love if any of you could help me out**

⚠edit- slightly upsetting themes so please don't read if you're in little form it might upset you⚠

*hinata's POV*

Tsukishima seems to refuse to talk about our play dates when's he's in big, but I get it.  I've been feeling pretty relaxed lately, regressing every time school or volleyball stresses me out, and suga is always there for me. My feelings for him confuses me, and I don't even know if they're allowed. Is it normal to have a crush on your caregiver?
I tried to get answers by studying the relationship between tsukishima and yamagucci, but tsukishima is a salty jerk to yamagucci. Not that anyone believes his font. It's so clear to everyone his feelings for yamagucci. Well. Apart from to yamagucci himself.
--
I stared at suga's concentrated expression and felt jittery. He was revising and I tagged along because it's been a few days since I regressed and,well, I wanted to be near him.
Suddenly suga sighed and looked up, "hinata" I jumped a bit,
"Yuh?"
"I can feel your gaze"
I turn bright red as if I'd been told off and looked away, "sorry.."
"Don't worry about it."
I peeked through the curtains of my hair and see that suga had gone back to his studying.
Was I distracting him? I did kinda invite myself..Maybe i over stepped boundaries..
These thoughts got worse and didn't stop even after I left.
I didn't sleep that night.
--
"Hey shouyo!" I turn to see yams running towards me but he slowed down as he takes in my face, "are you okay?"
"Hmm?" I swayed a bit, "yeahh wassup"
"You look horrible!" He stated bluntly.
"Gee thanks"
"No really. You look so tired lately. Have you been sleeping?" He lowered his voice, "have you been regressing?"
"Yes of course I'm doing great" Yams looked at me with disbelief.
"No really I'm great"
"Shouyo, when you press your regressions down it can cause a lot of stress, I'm sure suga will always be there if you need to let go, and if he's busy you know I'm always here too."
I looked at yams in surprise, I hadn't thought of caregivers looking after different littles.
"I'm fine I swear." I give him a tired smile and keep walking. I don't want to burden anyone anymore.
--
I tossed to the side for the 5th time that minute.
I Haven't been able to sleep in 4 maybe 5 days? I can't even tell anymore. It's been 2 weeks since I'd regressed and a week since I'd had a proper conversation with suga. My heart aches at the thought of him no matter how cheesy it sounds. My little side craves to come come out and see him. But I won't let it.
I'll get through this on my own.
I curled up into a ball whimpering as my heart clenched up and my needles pricked my brain.
Suddenly my phone ran and I wanted to ignore it but it seemed to be endless so I quickly pressed answer and whispered, "hello?"
"Hey hinata are you okay? Yams said you seemed off.. And well.. You Haven't really spoken to me in a while" Damn it. He couldn't have chosen a worse time. I'm on the verge of slipping and hearing his voice isn't helping.
"Yeah" I managed, "I have to go."
"Wait! Uhm so have you not needed to- well you know- regress lately?"
"No"
"Oh. Are you sure? It looks like you haven't been sleeping."
"Well I was just about to." My mind was screaming at me to stop being so rude but I knew I needed to get off the phone.

"Oh- I'm sorry- I guess I'll leave you alone now."

"Yeah." I hung up quickly and threw my phone, finally letting the tears take me.

--
*suga's pov*

I'm really worried about hinata.
He's completely avoiding me and at the times that he can't he looks like a zombie and speaks mere words to me.
I don't understand what changed.
It's been a week since I reached out and I had been pretty hurt not gonna lie.. He completely blocked me out and I felt my heart break. After that I kept my distance, deciding to wait til he was ready to talk.
--
I was heading over to the club room earlier than usual as I had the keys that day,
But when I got near the gym I saw hinata sitting in the corner with his face against his legs. I debated ignoring him to give him space, but I of course couldn't.
I slowly treaded over to him, but as I got closer I heard small gasps and slowed down.
"Hinata?" The little figure on the floor froze.
"Hey are you okay?"
He finally looked up at me, and his face was flushed red in a way that was clear he was suppressing tears.
"Hey hey!" I sit down next to him and put an arm around him, "what's wrong?"
The moment the last word was out my mouth, he let go and the tears came rushing out causing his breathing to become gasps.
I stroked his arm and sat there with him, letting him let it all out. God knows how long he's been keeping everything bottled up.
He turned to me, still uncontrollably sobbing and said, "I'm so sorry papa"
I gave him a gentle smile and hugged him closer, "it's not your fault baby boy"
"B-b-but it is"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just a burden to papa and I tried to be good and not rely on you!"
I stared at the sobbing red head in front of me in shock, "why would you think you're a burden?"
"I always need your help! And you must be busy! And tired of always looking after me! So I refused to slip! And I couldn't see you because my little side loves you and always wants to see you! But I missed you so much!  So I couldn't sleep.. And than I was rude to you.. And I thought that made you hate me!" Hinata's sobs started to calm down a bit near the end of that rant and he tried to calm his breathing as he stared at me.
I was in utter shock trying to process what he said.
"Baby" I cooed and moved strands of his hair from his face, "you're never a burden to me and I'd never hate you."
He looked at me, still sniffling.
"I love looking after you. If I didn't.. I wouldn't have promised you now would I?"
I held up my pinkie to remind him of the first night I'd spent over.
His eyes switched between my face and my hand a few times before maintaining eye contact for a full few seconds.
"Hinata?"
Suddenly the air was knocked out of me and he was on top of me. Some serious deja vu right here.
He snuggled his face into the crook of my neck and held me tight.
I wrapped my arms around him and smiled, I missed him so much.
"Hey sweety?" I spoke softly and was answered by a bratty blow of raspberries against my neck, making me giggle.
"Shouyo~" I used my stern voice making him squirm.
"Let me take you home for the day before the team arrives okay?" He nodded against me and I gave him a lil tickle, earning myself a giggle.
I left the keys of the club room where daichi would know to look, and walked home with hinata attached to me like a Kuala, but I didn't mind. Not at all.
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**I'm sorry about the random change in the story, I got writer's block and my friend suggested I add some angst, but I've never really written angst before so this was a bit hard and I didn't want it to get very sad. But I hope you enjoyed this!! Its my first time writing about this topic so likeEeEe**

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