Welcome Back // Jerrie

4. Ghost

"You good, Pez?", Jesy softly asked, stroking my hair.

Yes, it was 4am and I was crying in my drunk friends arms because of my ex girlfriend.

"No.", I simply answered, grabbing my phone.

"Who are you texting?", Jesy asked, suddenly sounding very sober.

I didn't give a fuck about anything right now, to be quite honest. Jade who?

"Lauren."

That's when Jesy took my phone. The fact that drunk Jesy was taking care of sad sober me was really saying something. "No, you won't do that. As much as I would love to have you and Lauren to get serious, not like that. You're both hurt and in love with other people and I love both of you too much to let you both cause each other pain."

I sighed and scratched my eyes. Jesy was right. I knew she was right. I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me at the moment. Jade drove me crazy, insane even. She always made me do things I never thought I'd do. Such as, using someone else to show her I was better off without her.

The Perrie I used to be and that everyone knew would never do that. I hated myself for it.

"When's your first lecture, love?", Jesy asked, stroking my hair comfortingly.

I started thinking, realizing my first lecture was at 7am and it was History. With Jade.

I groaned annoyingly.

"Is it early in the morning?" I nodded.

"Is it with Jade?", I nodded again.

"We're not saying that name anymore.", I stated and Jesy nodded, definitely agreeing with me.

It was quiet for a few seconds. "Okay, you try to sleep, I'll make you some tea that might help and then you'll sleep in tomorrow. I'll get you a pass for History class."

I knew that meant Jesy was getting a written excuse for me from Niall who was studying for a Doctor degree. He wasn't authorized to do that, but our professors never checked if they were legit. Normally, I'd hate Jesy doing that for me, since I wasn't technically sick. But I knew I needed that. I didn't want to see Jade and I didn't want her to see what a mess I was.

It was like her ghost was haunting me wherever I went, like our souls were connecting as one. I was never going to be able to fully let go of her. She was always going to be in my heart, whether I wanted it or not. There was something about Jade that was so undeniably special. She was my person. She understood me the most in my darkest times. She wasn't like anyone else. You wouldn't find anyone like Jade. And I hated the fact that I still loved her, missed her and wanted to feel her arms around me again. And I hated that I hated her for what she did to me, not having the closure and her being so content with her life, because I wasn't. I wanted her to be as miserable as I was. Not because I wanted to hurt her, but because I wanted to feel like she couldn't live without me like I couldn't live without her. I wanted to know she felt the same.

I was just so utterly incomplete without her.

After drinking my tea the next thing I knew was that I woke up at 12pm, exhausted as hell, not wanting to move at all. As soon as I put my WiFi on I got like a thousand messages. Some from Lauren, some from Jesy telling me breakfast was already in the kitchen, and some from Zayn. But there was another notification that caught my attention.

It was a new follow request on Instagram. I clicked on it, actually surprised about who was requesting. It was Leigh-Anne. Jade's best friend. Leigh and I got along very well while Jade and I were dating, we were kind of like sisters. But Leigh was for Jade what Jesy was to me so basically when Jade and I stopped dating, Leigh and I lost contact. I don't even believe it was intentional, it just happened naturally.