Deary Diary...

Tue, Sep 22 ; 12:57 AM

I currently created this book because I was grounded, meaning I cant write down my feelings or emotions anywhere. Im planning to write down my day, everyday, at the end of the day.

Today, was full of guilt and regret and mainly someone.

I really like this guy, and turns out he likes me back. BUT, I stole him from my best friend, I don't feel right for that. I feel like ever since, everythings been off lately. I also found out today that my so called 'Best Friends' made a hate playlist about me. BUT, let me go from the beginning of what happened.

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August 6th, a big fight happened between my friend group and I. Long story short everyone hated ME, the bad part was it was 2 days before my birthday party. I felt so mad and sad that I just wanted to cancel EVERYTHING, it wasn't worth being upset about. I couldn't deal with the drama so I ended it. Later on, I figured out that my best friend and I fought about NOTHING. Everything that was said were LIES, so I ignored it and moved on.

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Even though my birthday was HORRIBLE, I had my best friend back, so that's all that mattered. Soon to figure out that the boy I was talking to was talking and facetiming his EX. I wasn't having it. THEN, I found out that these 2 girls who I thought where my friends, made a playlist about me and how they wanted to kill me. It was sickening, all because they started rumors. Not fun.

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Currently, this boy and I are talking about lots of things, he seems to be really interested in me, and if im not lying.. im interested in him. He's super nice and hes always been my friend, I always felt like I could tell him anything and he wouldn't mind. That's the problem though.. Ever since I told him I liked him, I felt like I couldn't hang out with him ANYMORE. One day, he was hanging out with MY other boy bsf, and I didn't know. I couldn't talk or look him in the eye, It was just too embarrassing. 

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We have hung out more, and i'm definitely getting more comfortable around him. I don't know, maybe soon we will be more than "Just Friends" but for now, we are talking and taking it slow. I like it that way, we have been face timing frequently, and talking and texting. SO, maybe that'll take us somewhere. But, until next time. :)