MY EYES ADORE YOU | TAEGYU

3.

    ──a week has passed since I last saw beomgyu. he told me he was put under a lot of pressure from his family slowly falling financially and all the school assignments underneath his wings. beomgyu told me, last time he stayed over at my house, that'd be in contact with me but...

I haven't heard from him or haven't seen him in school; it worried me.

it was friday morning when yeonjun walked up to me with a shocked face. i grab his arms and try to let him breathe in and out as we walk into the building.

"it's beomgyu. he's.."

"spit it you're already!" i yell at my older friend who's trying to control his breathing. 

"he's gone," yeonjun says as he unhooks himself from me as i loosen my grip.

gone? like, moved away, or ran away? I'm so confused. why wouldn't he tell me? we are supposed to be best friends...this isn't making sense.

"what do you mean he's gone?" i ask; i grip the laces that hang from my hoodie with anxiousness. yeonjun looked at me with such sadness and such worries.

"i was opening up my locker and a note fell down. i grabbed it and i knew instantly it was gyu's handwriting. he told me he was sorry that he had to leave on such short notice," yeonjun explains as i raise the laces up to my mouth and bite down on them intensely, making my way over to my locker.

i open my locker and find a similar note to yeonjun's. it read.

baby, i hate to tell you this by note and not in person but..i moved away. we couldn't afford the house we live in and the college I'm attending so, we moved away to a smaller town where we can afford to live. please, forgive me. love, beomgyu

ps: don't come find me; i'll come back..eventually

i felt my throat start to tear as i struggle to fight the tears wanting to escape my eyes. i crumble the piece of paper in my hand before tossing it into the garbage bin and angrily walking away. how can he just write his problems nonchalantly to me? how can he not have the audacity to say goodbye in person? was this the reason he never texted back? was this the reason he started to ignore me so that it would be less painful? that idiot..leaving without saying goodbye is worse than 

i ignored the situation and headed to class to at least take my mind off beomgyu's disappearing for a bit.

"taehyun-ah!" hueningkai yells at me from across the room. i nod and hed up to his seat, sitting beside him. i lay my bag on top of the table and take out my notebook and pens. "how are you?"

"i guess you haven't checked your locker?" i ask as i bring my bag to the floor beside me, toying with my pen in hand. 

"no..i have everything i need right here," hueningkai says with a smile, picking his belongings out of his bag to place on the table.

"trust me, the most important thing you forgot is inside your locker.," i say with a sad tone. hueningkai nodded and headed down the stairs and out fo the classroom to make is way over to his locker. 

as the students and i waited for our teacher's arrival, the memories of beomgyu came flushing into my head. the laughs, the giggle, the misfortunes, the anger, the anxiety...we went through everything, and i can't believe I'm going to miss him calling me 'baby'. he's such a kind dork that i miss already..

after school, the four of us went to the subway three blocks away from the school to get something to eat. we sat there, lifeless, after getting beomgyu's letter. hueningkai sat in front of me beside yeonjun while i sat next to soobin.

"..i still can't believe he left without saying goodbye," soobin states. "who does that?"

"people who are afraid to say goodbye.." i say with tears starting to cover my vision. i wipe away the tears when i heard our number being called. i got up and got our meal.

"we can always call or text him, I'm sure he'll respond," hueningkai suggests as he grabs his sub. we all mirror the same actions as hueningkai and unwrap out subs.

"but it won't be the same," yeonjun lastly says before taking a bite out of his sub. 

"fuck it. I'm calling him," i say, pulling out my phone from my pocket and dialing his phone number. i noticed the other three eyes on the phone, anxiously waiting for beomgyu to pick up. 

i press the speaker button as we wait for him to answer.

"your call as been forwarded to an automatic voice—"

"it's no use. he won't talk to us or text us after a week has passed," i say, gripping my hair with anger.

"he needs time, i guess.." yeonjun says while chewing. 

"that was such an inmature move to do honestly," soobin lets out as he swallows his piece of food with his water bottle.

"i know, but can you blame him? he must be worse than us at the moment," hueningkai says in a sad tone. 

"we should call him later today. at least one of us," i suggest, laying back on the chair. i take another big bite out of my sub and chew while staring at the door. 

"diverting the topic..did any of you get mr.yoongi today?" yeonjun asks the three of us. i shake my head to the sides with hueningkai mirroring me. soobin also does the same but then saps his fingers when he remembers.

"yeah, i had him, last class. why?" soobin asks.

"did he assign you a five-page essay?" yeonjun and his boyfriend started to talk about their assignment, hueningkai just heard their conversation while i started to space out.

why gyu..why couldn't you at least say goodbye to me. was i anything to you? wasn't i your best friend? how..i hate you, beomgyu.

i get up from my seat with an angry face on, slamming my plate onto the table. i grabbed my bag and left the subway, heading back to my apartment with earbuds in my ears as my sad playlist played. with hands in my pockets, with my bag hanging from my left shoulder, with my head hanging low, the world around me stopped. 

the people I found myself in between, were blurred face. i coulnd't tell who was who anymore. was this because of my best friend..or something else?

"hey kid, you getting on or what?" the chofer asked me. i jummped back and realized I was at the bus station. i nod and walk inside the bus, sitting all the way in the back.

"rough day?" i turn over to my right and see a kid from my colleague smiling at me yet, he shared a look of concern.

"yeah.." i say, letting tears coe down my face. I cover my face with my hands as i let the salty tears drip down the in between of my fingers. 

"how about you come with me to the arcade. it'll be fun, my friends and i will be there to comfort you," he says, offering his hand to me. he gets up and stares at me, hand still wanting to grab mine.

"sure, why not," i say with sniffles. i grab his hand and walk out of the bus, hand in hand.

why aren't i pulling away? why do i feel comfortable having a males hand in mine? is this the feeling i've been missing? beomgyu, I'm sorry..