Stay alive, my love

Fuck you, Mikasa.

Nagisas POV:
My world was going perfect. I couldn't let things get bad again. I refuse to let myself make a decision I can't take back. I once wanted to kill myself and cut myself and starve myself. This is the first time that I can ever remember not feeling that way.

Third person POV:
Nagisa started to feel a sinking pressure in the pit of his stomach.
"Don't you dare mess this streak up" A voice would say. Then, it started to turn into "you're a failure. You always mess everything up. What's to stop you from messing this up?" It started to get worse. "Your friends want you to fail... but, what friends? Those people didn't even talk to you until Karma started to hang out with you. They thought you were a freak just like the rest. The only reason they are here is because they came to the foolish decision that if one person was talking to you, maybe you weren't that bad. You are that bad though. I bet you that once they started to hang out with you they realized how stupid you really are. They only stayed because they pity you."

Nagisas POV:
I'm trying to push my bad thoughts away but they make sense to me. What if they really are staying out of pity... Karma is the only person who actually cares for me.
A call from Rio snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Yo Nagisa, how's it goin?"
"I'm alright, thanks."
"Dude seriously? That sounded so apathetic. Stop being a little bitch and tell me the truth."
"...Rio, do you and the others only hang with me out of pity? You only started to get to know me once you saw that Karma was hanging out with me. Did you think I was a freak like the rest and that's why you guys stayed away?"
There was a long pause and then,
"Nagisa...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT YOU DUMB ASS!?!?"
I jumped back in shock
"Uhm... er.. I'm sorry, what?"
"Nagisa, we all love you! All of us! Me, Kaede, Tomohito, Yuma. I can't believe you think we'd stay out of pity. That's a load of shit, ya know? We stay out of love! We all love you! All four of us. I wish you wouldn't push that away... and about the whole us not talking to you before Karma, we only stayed away because we were scared. We heard this dickhead talking to his buddy one time saying something like 'I'm gonna make sure that blue haired kids life here is miserable. If I see him getting chummy with anybody, I'm gonna whoop his ass.' We didn't want you to get hurt Nagisa! In truth, we all thought you seemed really sweet and we did honestly want to get to know you. Once we saw you with Karma we were scared you would get hurt but apparently that guy was all talk and nothing happened to you. That's why we didn't hang out with you sooner!"
"Oh.. wow.. thank you, Rio! That actually makes me feel kinda warm and fuzzy in my chest... I don't know what to call it... I've been feeling like this lately but I've never felt anything like it before. Do you know what it is?" I ask.
"It's the feeling of being loved. I'm glad it's finally sinking in."
I felt my cheeks burst up in pink. So this is... love? It's the feeling of being loved. I felt my finger tips flicker to my chest and rest over my heart. A smile spread over my face, touching both pink cheeks.
"Rio... I- I don't know what to say.."
"Then don't say anything, dummy! Just as long as you know it, I'm happy. Just as long as you know how much Kaede, Tomohito, Yuma, and I love you. And ESPECIALLY how much Karma does."
I could sense her smirk through the phone.
"RIO!"
She let out a content giggle and asked if I wanted to go grab some lunch with her at a nearby cafe. Of course I said yes.
I grabbed my rain jacket off the couch, trotted up to Karma and pecked him right on the lips and skipped out the door, all the while giggling like a little kid.

Karmas POV:
Nagisa has been genuinely so happy recently. When I found him, he was in a horrible place. It warms me inside to know how happy he is now. He told me he was off to see Rio before giving me a kiss and skipping out the door.
I didn't realize I was grinning till I heard the door shut. I chuckled to myself and put on a show called attack on Titan. This episode was pissing me off. It seemed to me as though Mikasa was getting a little to smitten with Eren.
"FUCK YOU MIKASA WE BOTH KNOW EREN AND ARMIN SHOULD BE TOGETHER!!" I shouted at the screen while I frustratedly threw my pillow on the ground. With an exasperated sigh and a scowl, I hobbled out of the room like a hermit to get some snacks.