Life and I

Dear Me, the Rainbow came out.

March 6, 2020
Dear Me,

If there's anything I know so well in this life, it is the colors of the rainbow.
There are seven colors, and they've been abbreviated to ROYGBIV; Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Indigo, Violet.
I'm a rainbow freak, kind of.

The colors are one of the best things to happen to earth.
Any time bad things happen to me God consoles and assures me by sending the rainbow. They signify the promises and proof of God's love.
Let me draw the beauty I speak of here
🌈
That's it. Don't you agree it's beautiful?

It's 7 days since I learnt of Aunti Temi's death and it seems to me that God is consoling me of her death. The nights have been unbearable and the days have not been better.
The words "Cried one's heart out" manifested itself these past days.
I have cried in every corner of my room, bathroom, on my bed, toilet, my roommates beds, by the door, name it.
I have cried as though I were crying for a generation. I have cried with pain, with sadness and with anger.
I have cried holding my chest because it was threatening to open up if I didn't stop crying, also I have cried silently.

I had thought I would weep less and smile more at the fact that I had even known such an amazing person, but it has been the opposite.
I found myself walking around the school yesterday and I came across a boy walking with his friend and suddenly he smiled. His smile was so like Aunt Temi's. I found a place to seat after walking a bit more and I cried my eyes out.
A hand had tapped me softly while I was lost in the world of tears and it had been a course mate of mine, he had sat beside me and looked at me as though wishing away the rest of the tears with his eyes. My tears halted but my voice kept breaking when I tried talking. He stopped me from talking and spoke of many things including the lectures they have had the days I didn't go for lectures.
I soon found myself laughing. He is the comedian of my class and also the most interesting, intelligent boy in my class, so the talks were not wasted or centered on weird talks. Another thing is he says things as they are. I was able to put my mind elsewhere for hours for the first time in days.
He walked me to my hostel in the evening and I realized I had walked quite a distance away from my hostel.

This morning the rainbow came out and I knew there and then that God knows it isn't easy for me. A peace came upon me while I looked at the rainbow and I was reminded of the promises of God to never leave or forsake me and to lead me every path of the way.
The cloud of pain was lifted, it gave way for the rainbow of peace.

With God, I know it will get better.
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