Great Loss (a hotchniss story)

grieve (hotch's POV)

I call the team in at 2:00am in the morning. It's a few hours after Strauss told me the news. The team had a day off but I worked. For them, it's back to work.

I'm in the round table room with coffee for the team as everyone trudges in, perking up from the smell.

"For us Boss Man, what's the special occasion?" Garcia exclaims, as she drinks her coffee.

I sigh and she looks around at everyone else in the room. "I'm not a profiler but there's something up. Spill it."

I take a seat. Everyone shifts seeing that I'm serious. "A couple hours ago, Chief Strauss mentioned some news to me." I take a deep breath. "Jason Gideon has died."

Penelope begins to tear up while the rest of the team is in shock. "Aaron, how?" Rossi asks, ignoring Garcia's sobs.

Morgan rolls his chair to Penelope, rubbing her back and whispering to her to take deep breaths.

"Murder. In his own cabin." I declare. "An anonymous call was made and when police checked it out, he was there, on the ground."

"Where is he now?" Spencer mumbles. "WHERE IS HE NOW!"

I shoot him a glare. "Calm down, he's with an ME."

"I'm sorry but Strauss wants us to consult on this case." Heads face towards me. "She believes that since we were the people he saw last before he left, we can figure out who killed him."

"Or is she punishing us for not telling her about the note you got?" JJ scoffs.

Everyone looks back at me. "Strauss knows about the note. She doesn't want us to do anything about it right now." I told the team that no one else would know. But I'm tired of keeping secrets.

"Reid and Morgan, head to the ME and see what he found out. JJ and Penelope you're coming with Rossi and I, we're going to the cabin."

Everyone nods and stands up. Reid pauses and the team does the same. "Does his son know?"

"I'm assuming he does." I say. He nods quickly and rushes out the room.

"We're leaving in 30, get what you need, this might be a long one," I call out.

Looking out the window from the round table room, I see Penelope being comforted by Derek and JJ, no sight of Reid. I head towards the bathroom. I walk in and I see Reid against the wall on the floor, sobbing quietly.

I walk towards him. "Reid, is this about Gideon? We never knew that this was going to happen."

He starts to whisper. "The day he left...he wrote a letter to me because he knew I'd go to the cabin looking for him..." He looked up at me while holding his legs together. "He said that when Sarah died, it tore a hole in him. And he was scared of losing trust and when he looked at anyone, he would imagine his death."

"Reid..." He stops me and he continues.

"He said he was sorry. And that he doesn't trust himself anymore, anywhere. He wanted to go back to happy endings." Reid says.

I lean against the wall and I sit on the floor with him.  "Spencer, you knew what Gideon went through before rejoining the BAU."

"No I know, I have an eidetic memory." He chuckles slightly. "It's just that I felt like he's always believed in me. And now that he's gone I can't believe in myself."

I sigh. "You can't rely on other people's opinions on you. You need to believe in yourself. You have an IQ of 187. As everyone else would say, you're our Boy Genius. The team wouldn't be complete without you."