It's complicated

21:

My eyes felt thick and I wasn't feeling like myself. I wasn't even in the mood to face any people but I knew staying away meant I'd have to answer questions.

As I picked up my phone I saw a text from Xavier.

"I told you we were gonna see how badly we could hurt each other. Seems like you didn't believe me, well I do hope you believe me now. And if your wondering yes she slept over."

Why would he tell me that, better yet remind me about what he said? I didn't care. I want him I'll admit that. And yes don't be shocked.

In my heart I always knew I wanted him I just couldn't get myself to admit it. But I finally did, not that it matters because he replaced me. First he choice Veronica over me and now Livy.

I washed my face and put on some make up to try and look better. I dressed in jeans and a hoodie. My hair was tied up in a messy bun and I had my all stars on.

I ate breakfast and left for school. When I arrived they were standing next to his car, she had her arms wrapped around him and he did exactly the same. I parked next to them, only parking that was open.

I grabbed my things and got out. I was planning on ignoring them and going straight to class but Livy stopped me from doing so.

"Claire wait. We're having a party on Friday. You should totally come."

"Thanks for the invite Livy. I'll think about it."

I wasn't feeling like it because they would probably just hang on one another again. I pushed the thought aside and went to class.

"Hey Bennett."

"Hey Luke what's up?"

"Nothing much. Listen did Livy invite you to their party?"

"Yeah why you asking?"

"Guess I'll see you there."

"If I'm going that is."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Don't know if I want to."

"Come on don't deny yourself fun because of them."

"I'll think about it."

I left and finally made my way to class. Wasn't all that interesting. Livy hung on Xavier and Luke wasn't in this class with me so I didn't really have someone to talk to.

I was relieved when the last bell for the end of the day rang. Finally I could go home and forget about everything that happened.

The week went by slow. And I was now faced with the decision whether I wanted to go to the party or not.

Dispite my best efforts of not going I had to. I wanted to know what they were doing even if it was gonna break my heart.

So I got ready. I decided to wear the outfit I wore the first time we went out. I know I'm not gonna achieve anything but even if I just got a little attention from his side it would be nice.

So I finished and left. Why I got myself into these situations only I would know. I stopped in his driveway and saw that Livy was standing in the door.

I got out and walked up to her. She greeted me but damn I wasn't having it.

"Claire, hi. I'm so glad you came."

"Has Luke passed through yet?"

"No hello?"

"Look as fun as this might seem I don't really wanna talk to you. So can we not do this right now okay. I don't have time to talk to people of your kind."

"I don't understand why you don't like me. I've never done anything to you and if your pissed that Xavier's talking to me I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for that to happen really I didn't."

"Livy you and me, we're from completely different backgrounds. That's why we don't blend well together. Now if you could be so kind to get out off my way I would appreciate it."

"Geez, I'm trying to be nice and you just won't have it."

"Are you still talking? I thought we were done having this conversation."

So I went in and got a drink. Upon entering the kitchen I saw Luke and Xavier talking. Seriously what was he trying to achieve?

"Hey Luke."

"Claire you came."

"Yeah I guess I decided to do it after all."

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you Luke."

I could feel his eyes on me. I had him right where I wanted him. I fixed myself a drink and took Luke's hand in mine leading him towards the dance floor.

We spent the whole night dancing and drinking. I saw Livy straddle Xavier earlier. Did it bother me? Yes it did because that was supposed to be me not Livy.

We were about half way through the night when drama finally made its way through the corridors. I went to fetch me a drink and Luke took it upon himself to let his hands wonder.

There was only one person I would allow to do that because I know their intentions and that person ain't Luke.

"Could you stop that?"

"Why what's wrong? We're just having fun that's all."

He didn't stop or even listen to what I was saying.

"Luke I want you to please stop what you are doing!"

"And if I don't want to?"

"Stop it please!"

At first I felt the pressure of his weight on me but then it was as if he was as light as a feather.

"She told you to stop, if I remember correctly!"

"Chill out and go to Livy. I'm sure she's itching for your touch!"

"If you ever lay a hand on her again I swear I'll hurt you so badly that you'll forget your name and not you nor your parents will recognise you."

"Fine you can have her anyway. Because she only seems to want you."

He grabbed me by the wrist and led me outside.

"Look I don't need your help okay I can look after myself.

"Come."

We got into his car and drove off.

"Look if you're gonna lecture me on how bad he is or whatever, I'm not having it. And if your gonna say I told you so safe it. I only did it because you took a liking in Livy. I had to get your attention somehow. And I want you to know that no matter how desperate this sounds I can still live without you."

"Are you okay?"

I was expecting him to fight with me but somehow all he cared about was whether or not I was okay.

"I'm fine."

We went inside and I went straight to the room to put on my PJ's. He followed right behind me.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No Xavier."

I was about to undress when he stopped me.

"Wait."

"Why?"

"Can I?"

"I thought you never wanted to see me again."

"At first yes but I realise now that I crave your presence."

"Finally came to your..."

"Shhh okay."

He unzipped the back of the skirt . The top of the dress slid off, exposing my skin. Around him I felt comfortable, walking around like this.

He took off his shirt. He picked up my arms so that they were in the air. The way his fingers moved over my body send shivers done my spine.

"There, all ready for bed."

We got into bed and I fell asleep on his chest. It felt good.