If Only You Knew

Chapter 11

It's late on a school night but I'm not sleepy. I'm wide awake thinking about what my sister said a week ago. 'When are you going to make a move on Charity?' It's probably true. I have started gaining a little interest in Charity. That's probably because she's started telling me things. I've also seen her express other emotions. She's a nice person and I've started enjoying her company and moving around with her. But do I like her?

Okay I sound crazy right now. I should know my own feelings. After all they're mine.

I get out of my bed and head to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I start pacing back and forth while drinking my glass of water. Do I have feelings for Charity? What if I do like her? What's next? There's no chance of her liking me. We're two completely different people. We're just friends and I'm sure we both would like it to remain that way.

I head back to my room and lie down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. My ceiling is really boring. I should probably stick a few pictures when I'm free because then it would be more interesting to stare at. After a while I finally fall asleep.

*ring...ring ring......ring ring ring....*" Oh my gosh just stop ringing already!" and I stop my alarm from ringing. I drag my self out of bed and freshen up. Then I wear my school uniform and I head to the kitchen for breakfast. My mom looks at me and worriedly says " Honey did you stay up last night?" I say " Oh no mom. I was sleeping." Lie " I woke up once to drink a glass of water and I went back to sleep." she says " But you don't look so good today." I reply saying " Oh I'm fine mom really." She sighs and says " You can take the day off because you look really tired." I sigh and reply saying " Mom. I only look dead today and I'm fine." She says " Alright. Hurry up or you'll be late for school." I nod in reply and quickly eat my pancakes and head out for school.

I reach school pretty quickly as there was no traffic. I walk to my locker and I put all my books that I would need for the first half of school. Just before I'm about to close my locker I find a note on top of a piece of paper. It just says ' From Charity :)' I remove the note and read the poster. It's about the ice hockey try outs. Charity spoke to me about it a week ago and I have been practicing but I didn't really know the dates. It's going to be held day after tomorrow. After school, that is during editing. I guess I'll have to skip editing. I'll ask somebody to cover up for me.

*****

I look around for Charity while I'm eating during recess. " So Hayley was asking about you Jay." says Sam. " She wanted......" I don't see Charity anywhere. I look at where she normally sits but she isn't there. Did she come this morning? Maybe she's in the music room practicing the ukulele or the violin. "Jay!" says Sam disturbing me. " Yeah what is it?" I say while running my hand through my hair. " What do I tell Hayley?" he says. " I say " Tell her what?" Sam pushes himself away from the table and says " I give up Jay. Will you listen to what I'm going to say for once?" I look at him and say " Yeah sorry. I was just thinking." He puts his hand on the table and says " Hayley wants to spend some time with you! She wants to get to know you!" I say " Oh. That girl. Hayley Ray." Sam says " Yes!" I say " But I'm busy. I've got editing after school and then part-time. I also have to study." But Sam says " But she's a pretty girl and she has a crush on you. Come on Jay. Give it a try." I say " I'll think about it." Sam sighs and says " Okay." I finish my sandwich and I walk out of the cafeteria with out a word. I walk towards the music room and sigh in relief when I see Charity playing the cello. Okay she plays the cello too?!

She plays really well. I mean it's amazing how she plays the ukulele, the violin and the cello. This girl is full of surprises. Her back is facing me and I don't enter the class. I just patiently listen to her and gosh the way she plays gives me goose bumps. I look at her reflection from the glass and she's crying. Why is she crying? Every now and then she wipes her tears away but she doesn't seem to stop crying. Is it because the music she's playing is really depressing? Or does she always cry when she plays?

The bell rings and she stops playing. I silently watch her actions. She puts the cello in it's case and she brings all her music sheets together and puts them in a file. Then she puts her bag on her shoulders and she takes her file in her hand and she turns around. She looks at me and she suddenly looks really angry. But she just walks past me. I try stopping her. " Charity! Wait! What happened? You okay?" but she keeps walking. I wonder what's up with her.

*****

The day gets over pretty quickly and I head for work. I take orders and then have dinner after it's past my working time. Then I walk back home. I meet Charity on my way home and I say " Hey!" She says " Oh hey." I say " Where are you heading off to?" She says " Home." I say " Isn't it that way?" pointing to where I was going to walk. She sighs and says " Going to a restaurant for dinner." I say " All by your self?" She nods in reply. I say " Oh. I'll see you later then." but she says " You mind joining me? It's a little boring eating all alone." I say " I already had dinner." She says " You don't have to eat." and so I tag along.

Charity barely eats. That's another thing I just learnt about her. She orders for fries and a burger and she gets a bottle of apple juice. She eats a few of her fries and she offers some to me but she doesn't finish what she's ordered for. She finishes her burger and she keeps the apple juice in her bag. She says " You could have all the fries because I'm not really hungry." But I say " You barely ate anything." She says " I'm full. I can't eat anything else or I'll throw up." and so I end up eating the fries. While we're walking towards her house I say " So you play the ukulele and the violin and the cello?" She says " Yes. I also play the piano, the flute, the electric guitar and the harp." " That's a lot of instruments!" She smiles and says " Yeah. I love music and I enjoy playing those instruments." I say " When did you start learning all these instruments?" She says " I started learning the ukulele and the piano when I was five, the violin when I was eight, the cello when I was ten and harp when I was twelve." I say " What about the electric guitar?" She says " This year. Three months ago." I gasp. This girl is awesome. She makes me feel so useless.

As if she has read my thoughts she says " Your awesome too. You are a loving brother, a great friend and a hardworking son to a lot of people. You care about everybody. I can never be that kind of a person." " Thanks." I say in reply. When we reach her house she looks at me and says " Well I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep because you look like a...zombie." I smile and say " Yeah sure. So I'll hmm....talk to you later....bye." She smiles and says " Bye." Then she turns around and gets inside her house. Her smile........