Scotch // Aaron Hotchner

Chapter eleven

"Well if it isn't agent Hallow."

I roll my eyes, "Can it smart ass." I walk over and sit down in front of his desk. He looks back down at his files. He finishes one of them then tosses it aside into a pile of what I'm assuming are finished case files.  The blinds to his office are open, I look out into the bullpen and just kinda stare at it.

Hotch notices me staring, "What are you thinking about?"

"How I ended up here. I mean ten years ago I wouldn't even dare to think that I would be in the BAU. Much less sitting in my boss's office on a Friday night." I'm happy I am but I couldn't help but think about what I had to do to get there. 

"What did you want to do ten years ago?"

"Make the world a better place."

"Well aren't you doing that here?"

"In a way I am."

He looks confused, "Care to elaborate?"

I sigh and turn to look at him, "We are the people we hunt down. I mean I've killed someone before, you have, Reid has, everyone on the team has. Doesn't that make us monsters too?"

"It does in a way. You have to make your peace with that."

"I don't want to have to make peace with the fact that I'm a bad person."

"Natalie, we're all bad people. We're just bad people who do terrible, shitty things that we then try to justify doing. Sure, some of us are worse then others but I don't believe that there is one truly good person out there."

"Do you just look at everyone as a bad person, as a monster?" I ask. 

He sighs, "I try not to but once I get to know someone it's hard. People are the shitty things they do and once you seem someone act like that it's hard not to look at them that way."

I don't respond after he said that. Did he view me as a shitty person? I didn't want him too but It was probably inevitable. I've shot and killed suspects in front of this man, cursed people out, I even have threatened to actually murder people. But then again he isn't an exception to his own rule. "So you consider yourself a bad person?"

He takes a sip of some coffee sitting on his desk before responding, "I do, and I think a major part of being able to do this job is acknowledging that you are a bad person."

I didn't want to believe that I was a bad person but it was true. I mean I've done bad things all my life and I've never stopped to think about it on a deeper level. We sit there in silence for a few minutes. Neither of us we're expecting to have such a deep conversation and I think it had startled us both. After a few minutes he pulls out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

"You want a drink?"

"Yes please" I huff.  He slides me over a glass and pours my drink for me. I take a sip and close my eyes for a second. The seconds feel like hours but I open my eyes and get reminded of where I am and what I'm doing. I look at Hotch to see that he is already on what I assume is his second glass. I scowl at him, "Stay below the legal limit tonight, If I have to drive you home you're staying at my place tonight."

He stands up and walks to sit in the chair next to me, "Maybe I will get drunk then.". He smirks and looks me in the eyes. 

I make direct eye contact with him and smirk back, "and you'll be sleeping on the couch."

"That's mean"

"I don't care, beds are for people who can drink responsibly."

He looks taken aback, "I drink responsibly, sometimes that drinking just involves drowning my feelings in alcohol."

I laugh, "It is that way sometimes." I hold out my hand and he immediately grabs it. I was curious about what we were but I didn't want to ask. Half the time when you asked that It scared the guy and ruined whatever relationship you did have. He started rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. It was nice and honestly a little intimate. We sat there for I don't know how long just talking and drinking. Eventually we moved onto the couch he had in this office. 

I laid down putting my head on his lap. He was started playing with my hair and mumbling things under his breath. I tried to listen and figure out what he was saying but I couldn't understand it. "Hey boss man, what are you saying?"

"I was just talking to myself."

"Obviously, but about what?"

"How beautiful you look."

I feel a blush come up to my cheeks. I grab his tie and pull it down towards me. His lips crash against mine in a wave of fire and passion. He immediately deeps the kiss and I follow his lead. He positions himself so that he's on top of me now. We continue to make out and he goes to reach for my shirt. I pull away, a little out of breath, "This is hot and all but I am not hooking up with you for the first time in your office."

He raises his eyebrows, "First time?"

"Yea whatever you get the point." He repositions himself so that I can sit up. The sexual tension in the room was unreal. Neither of us knowing what to do we just sat there. I start running my fingers through my hair to feel that it was tangled and out of place. "Damn it Hotchner, did you mess up my hair again?"

He look me in the eyes then looks up at my hair, "I guess I did."

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I'm about to say, "You know, if you wanted we could leave and you could mess up my hair some more."

His eyes go wide and he perks up, "Your place or mine?"

I think for a moment, "We can do mine." We both get up and start getting our stuff together as fast as we could. I rushed down to my desk and started packing my bag. Less than two minutes later Hotch was down at my desk ready to leave. We walked out to our car's together, I consider riding together but ultimately decide that it's better if we each take our own car. I start driving and I notice that I feel extremely nervous. For gods sake it was my own house but I knew that wasn't what was making me nervous. It was the fact that I was about to sleep with my boss.

I beat Hotch to my house. I unlock the door and walk in. I put my bag back where it belongs and I sit on my couch waiting for him to get here. I hear a knock on the door less than five minutes later. I rush to go open the door to see him standing there. After letting him in I'm closing and locking the door when I feel a hand on my neck turn me around. Hotch turns me around and pins me against my door. We start kissing and grabbing at each other. He put's his hands at the bottom of my shirt trying to take it off and I let him. I slowly lead him back to my bedroom while we're still going at it. We get into my room and he closes the door.  I lay down on the bed and wait for him to come over. He comes over and hovers on top of me. I slowly reach my hand up to his shirt, "Can I take this off?"

He's breathing deeper now, "Yes you can."

I start to unbutton the buttons and slowly slide his shirt off. I take a moment just to look at him. I start running my fingers over his scars. I notice he looks really nervous and worried. "You're beautiful Aaron. Nothing could ever change that." He smiles then he goes back down on me. I start to unzip his pants and he starts to pull down mine. Eventually we are both left there in just our underwear. Hotch stops for a moment and looks me up and down, "You're gorgeous Natalie." I blush and am secretly relieved that he didn't find me repulsive naked. 

He looks me in the eyes again, You're sure you want to do this, right?"

"Yes I'm 100% sure." After that there was no going back. Me and Hotch fully went at it. Our bodies colliding. Skin on skin. It was like we had liked each other for years and this was our first touch. We moved as one for a while until we were done. We laied in each others arms when we finished. Not talking just enjoying each others company. I got up to use the bathroom at some point and that when it really hit me.

 I walked out of the bathroom and back onto my bed, "I guess I can say now that I'm sleeping with my boss."