Scotch // Aaron Hotchner

Chapter three

I was trying to get through the weekend without thinking about Friday night. It hadn't really worked but at least I was trying. I had distracted myself all of Saturday by deep cleaning my house. Everything was washed, dusted, and vacuumed. Sunday I just sat at home all day. I decided to binge watch some TV shows and maybe paint a little. I was getting ready to go on a night run when I received the text I had been dreading. 

"New case, meet at jet in 90 minutes."

I sighed and walked back inside to change and grab my go bag. I changed into some loose black pants with a white blouse. I also grabbed a black blazer that matches the pants. I put on some flats and grab my key chain. After locking my apartment door I walk to my car and I get ready to go when I hear my phone go off. I look at my phone to see a text from the person I want to see least right now. It was Hotch asking for a ride. I completely forgot that I had told him I would pick him up and bring him to work. I contemplated texting back or just acting like I hadn't seen the text. But in the end I decided to text him back instead of angering my boss before we went on a case.  I quickly texted back "I can pick you up. I'll be there in 10." I started my car and started driving towards Hotch's house. 

It's a short drive to his house. I realize that we lived a lot closer than I had ever thought. I was anxious. I didn't know how he was going to say or how he was going to react. I turned up the radio to drown out my thoughts. After drinking for about 15 minutes I got to Hotch's house. I sent him a quick text that I was here.  I was nervous now. Very nervous. I looked at his porch to see him walking down the stairs. He was wearing a black suit like always but he always looked good in them. He tried to open my car door and it was locked. I unlocked the door and he climbed in. 

"Hello, Natalie."

"Hey, Hotch. You ready to go?"

"Yea i'm ready."

I drove off from his house and towards the landing pad where the jet took off from.  There was an awkward silence in the car. Well it wasn't really silent. Some late night radio show was playing quietly in the background. You could hear the car driving on the road. But we were silent. Both of us just sitting there, not talking to each other, ignoring each others presence and the tension in this car. I hate silence, I always have. I think Hotch did too based on how uncomfortable he looked. But I didn't want to be the one to break this silence. I didn't want to ask about Friday but I also didn't know how to not talk about it.  So I had decided that for once I was going to sit and enjoy the silence when Hotch started talking to me. 

"How was your Saturday Natalie?"

"It was good, I really just cleaned. How about you?"

"It was okay. Jack was at a friends so I really just hung out by myself."

"Oh. Anyways what's this case about?"

"A series of child murders in Mississippi."

That brought a energy into the car I didn't like. No one liked the cases that involved kids. They almost always never ended the way we wanted them too. This was becoming one of the most weird car rides of my life. I got stopped by a train crossing in front of me. Something inside of me just decided to say fuck it. I wasn't going to be make it were it was awkward all week on this case. Emily and JJ would definitely pick up on it and I really didn't want to talk to them about it.  So without much thought I just came out and said it, "Hotch are we going to talk about what happened Friday."

He stammered "Oh..um."

I cut him off and said "I mean we don't have too but I would rather talk about it then be weird towards each other all week."

"That seems like a good idea Natalie."

"Yea, so why did um you know...kiss me?"

"It felt right in the moment. Besides I was drunk. I wasn't thinking right."

"Oh, okay then. So we can move on?"

"If you want too Natalie we can."

"Great." If you want to we can, what does that mean? Did he not want to move past it? I didn't have time to think about this right now. We had a case that needed my full attention. I couldn't be distracted by some boy problems. We pulled into the parking garage. I got out of the car as quickly as I could. We both walked in silence to the jet on got on. Of course we were the first ones there so I couldn't avoid Hotch. I sat down first and he decided to sit down across from me.

"Did I do something to upset you Natalie?"

"No, Hotch you didn't do anything."

"Then why are you upset?"

Getting more upset I yelled, "I'm not upset Hotch I'm just confused.". Hotch looked taken aback. Probably because I just yelled at him. I lower my voice and talk again. "What did you mean by "If you want to move on then we can."". 

"I meant that if you want we can just move on from it and pretend it never happened"

"Do you want to move on and pretend it never happened Hotch?"

"No, I don't Natalie."

At that moment Emily and Derek walked into the plane together. Hotch lowered his voice, "We'll talk about this later."

Emily and me made eye contact. I suppose she heard the last little bit of our conversation but she wouldn't ask me about it unless I brought it up.  Another 10 minutes went by before the rest of the team arrived. Me and Emily made small talk until then. Rossi arrived last like always.  After about 10 minutes in the air Hotch started to go over the case. 

"We are going to Jackson, Mississippi where there have been a series of child abductions and murders. "

The vibe in the air automatically changed from a light and playful mood to a darker more upset one. I kept listening to Hotch and Garcia while they went over the case. 

"All of the victims have been males between the ages of 6-9. The bodies are usually found 36-78 hours after the abduction."

Garcia looked sad now that she had to talk. She didn't like talking about the cases in general, especially the ones involving children. She paused a bit before saying, "All of the children have dark brown hair and blue eye."

Emily interrupts her by saying, "That's a rare combination, that has to make finding his victims harder." 

Everyone nods their head in agreement before Reid says "Jackson is one of the biggest cities in Mississippi. If there's anywhere to hunt for more victims that's the place. 

Hotch sighs. I look at him. He looks sad. We make eye contact. I quickly look away. He starts to speak. "Everyone try to get some rest. We land in about three hours.". Everyone turns away and starts to either go to sleep or work on the case. Hotch looks back at me and I turn away. 

I decide to take a nap because I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep over the past few days. I laid there for a minute not yet asleep thinking of all that had happened today and what it meant. Sleep didn't come easy. It didn't last long enough either.  

We landed in Jackson at 1 am. We got to get a few more hours of sleep before being at the police station at 8 am. We had to ride to the hotel in groups of three. As everyone got a car I realized what had happened. Me and Hotch had somehow ended up in a car together. We sat in silence as he drove to the hotel.  Of course he had to break the silence. 

"So Natalie, do you want to talk now?"