Break Me

(8) Distractions

Troys POV

~ 3 months later~

In the months that followed alot happened.

The first thing being that I got a promotion and that meant more work.

Because of this promotion, I became increasingly busy and ended up spending longer hours at work.

This kept my mind away from any thoughts about them and helped me ignore the voices.

The thing is ... even with the increase in my workload and the longer working hours, I still found myself thinking about Mr.Issac and Mr.Griffin more than was healthy or normal.

I knew that thinking about those two dominant men was dangerous.

Just the thought of them had almost caused me to slip into that place a few times.

Despite the fact that I knew I shouldnt think about them I did anyways.

I felt like I was abnormal, that I shouldnt be thinking about them or imaging them doing things to me that any regular person would think is scary or disgusting.

Deciding I needed to make myself busier to prevent my mind from wandering , I determined that the best way to do that was to adopt an animal.

His name is Moon.His beautiful blue eyes and black fur reminded me of the full moon on a starless night so I gave him that name.

The third thing that happened is that I moved to a house that was a bit bigger.

Blue grew to be quite a big dog even for a Husky so the house I was staying in before became to small for the two of us.

~ 1 year later ~

One year flew by more quickly than I thought.

Moon kept me occupied for a few months but as Moon grew older he became more mellow and very obedient, giving me little to no trouble.

Besides caring for Moon, Kai and I have kept in contact.

After the conference concluded we met up the following week and really hit it off from there.

We have hung out multiple times since then. He and I even celebrated my birthday together.

He is actually the one who recommended my current home to me and I couldnt be more greatful.

I came to consider him a close friend of mine but even he doesnt know about my.....abnormal sexual preferences and I plan on keeping it that way.

After settling down in my new home, I had nothing to distract myself with so my thoughts once again started to wonder.

The voices I had managed to ignore for a time where now too much to handle and my mind was filled with thoughts of two men and two men only.

I felt like I was losing control of myself and I desperately needed something to help me forget them.

Thats why I started to have one night stands every other day. I would usually pick out my one night stand from the gay bar I frequently visited.

This bar was located in my neighborhood and went by the name:

La Vérité.

I had stumbled upon it by chance about two month ago around the time I moved here. I spotted it while Kai was giving me a tour of the neighborhood and I inquired about the small bar from him and the rest is history.

I thought this sleeping with a variety of people idea would work but I was never able to orgasm from the sex I had with my one night stands and I always felt lonely the day after.

I could feel the hole in my heart was getting bigger the more sex I had.

I found the sex boring, my dick can testify to that.

I just couldn't get hard;
Nevertheless, I continued to sleep around, all in hopes of making myself feel like I was normal but deep down I knew this type of sex could never satisfy me.

What I wanted, NO

What I needed was pain.

I needed someone to punish me,

to fuck me til I scream.

I needed someone to

BREAK ME

And no matter how hard I tried the simple truth is I will never be normal but I wasnt quite ready to exept that fact yet.