Malevolent Mermaid

"Lost Myself To Win You"

"So, it has been a long time, and I miss him. But I did not realize until I saw him once more that close. My eyes widened, and for a moment I felt like I was splitting in two, the Ianthe with him and the Ianthe alone were two different people, as I said. Spliced in two. And things were vastly different this time. He did not look at me with the eyes of love he normally would, now would he come and hug me every time I flashed him that smile.

But then I blame myself cause I did not smile, and maybe if I smiled he would come and hug me, or maybe falling in love with him was not as bad as I thought, maybe I was the selfish one, but then, how come I was always the one that let tears roll down my face, and he had nothing but laughter come out of his mouth..."

Ianthe went back to doing what she does best, writing, by now she knew she could not trust anyone besides herself. Not even Pearl, she used to always disappear when she needed her most and then show up in the most spontaneous time in a very spontaneous way.

So, she went back to her own self, she would not talk to anyone nor see anyone. She was sick of her loneliness, but she realised sooner than later that this life fitted her best. She was not made for anyone and nor was anyone made for her.

She puts the message in the bottle but this time not throwing it to the ocean, but to the wooden chest, as she had no hope of Decimis reading these letters again. All she needed was to keep them to herself.

She opens an old one, and begins to read, a letter from D, who she came to understand it was not him.

"The ocean is deep, but my wound is deeper, Ianthe. You cannot know that better than me, these waves may be loud, but my pain is louder, even if nobody can hear it. I still think you understand me better than everyone, but I do not want you to care about me, or try to save me because you will be hurt too, I want you to be set free, for that I ask you to..."

"Allow me to drown in my own thoughts and sorrow, maybe I will make it back up swimming somehow." A familiar voice continues the sentence.

Ianthe turns around to see, it was Decimis. Maybe life changed, but her feelings for him never did, her heart would still beat the same way when she would see him, and her breath would still lose control over his captivating eyes and magical lips. But why would she care about him? If he did not care about her?

"How do you know?" Ianthe asks

Decimis blows out a chuckle. "You know exactly how I know."

"I should not be surprised at this point. Anything is expected from you."

"And about you?"

"Stop playing the victim, I am the hurt one here, you were the one that destroyed me. You had to fake your own death for power."

"That was never what I did, I wanted to protect you, but you are too selfish for that. I think you have your most evil ways to protect yourself, don't you?"

Ianthe looks shocked, more than ever. What does Decimis mean?

"What do you even mean? I just want you out of my life and stay away from you."

"And you will do that by knocking me and Lues out? Is that it?"

"What are you talking about Decimis? I have been far away from you for so long. Till you decided to find me now."

"Ianthe and her lies again, you would promise to love me too, but all you ever wanted was to get my power, and you come back committing another mistake, you never learn, do you?"

"Decimis can you please leave? What you came here for? To kill me for something I never did? You killed me that day Decimis, do not worry, I am not the same Ianthe anymore. Thanks to you I learned my lesson, thanks to you I know what pain is. You can leave now and go live your life peacefully as you know that I am sad. I am not planning to be hurt by you anymore!"

"So only I hurt you? You never did anything? The reason we are the way we are it is because of you! You had no idea what I had to sacrifice."

"You had to sacrifice what? You faked your own death, to get my power! I was the one to sacrifice!"

"Are you joking with me? You must be right now. If we rewind back you took what was mine and I regained, that was my power!"

"Why was it important anyways? If I were more important than the power, you would not leave me like that!"

"I did to save you!"

"Save me from what? You just wanted power!"

Decimis could no longer hold back everything he had collected for years, especially since he thinks Ianthe tried to knock him down after everything, he had done for her. The fury from Lues, the fury of all the years, the fury of now, he finally explained to Ianthe how he felt.

"Do you have a hobby of breaking my heart? Making me disappear little by little like the pieces of dust, burning me like a volcano, that even this entire ocean cannot stop the fire inside me.

I do not know how long I can keep it in but for all I know is that this entire place would burn in ashes and flames if I decided to throw up the fire I hold inside. If this is the way I must pay the prize for loving you than let it be so. Only then you will understand how I have felt till now!"

Ianthe is shocked and confused, she still got no idea what Decimis was talking about, till now she only had her own side of the story and Decimis was the villain. But what if she was the villain of the story? What if it was all her fault?

"Decimis-"She tries to talk but is interrupted right away.

"Say less Ianthe! You are the most selfish, most egocentric, most self-centred creature I have ever seen, ever witnessed. "

Ianthe feels a lot of pain at the words she is hearing, but anger too. However, she cannot say anything.

"You think you are the only one that suffered?" Decimis continues while getting closer to her.

"But what about me? All these years not being able to be myself, I forgot who Decimis was, or what his purpose was, I lost myself just so I could win you, just for you to be alive.

And what did you do for me? Look me in my eyes, and blame everything on me? If you ever really loved me, if you ever really trusted me, you would never doubt me, you would never think I would do such thing just for power. I would never leave you unless it was to protect you. If you had to do the same thing, I would trust you with every bit of me. But you? You blame it all on me, for what? To feel better about yourself? To convince yourself that you are perfect?

I really do not knowwhat to say Ianthe, I just wish you get hurt like this, you suffer from theperson you love the most, who know? Maybe you will understand me? If at least atrace of emotions is left on you, if you still know what feelings are, I hopeat least that part of your brain has not died yet and you can use it for things other than your ego!"