Come On & Save Me

Chapter Ten

*Jack's POV*

I held him close to me and rubbed his back, squeezing his hand just like he'd done for me so many times in the span of 24 hours. By now, it had to be 24 hours. I had lost count of the time. It didn't matter to me. I felt dead inside apart from the spark he gave me anyway.
Then I heard him say that my situation was worse than his. That made my heart drop, because it wasn't. He had a trauma. I had a trauma. We were equal, while our traumas were different. I looked at the broken boy who saved me and felt like all I could do was hug him. After all he'd done for me, that seemed like nothing, but it was all I had. I wondered how he was able to stay so happy and positive. He'd been so cheerful with me, protective, kind, caring...Maybe he was reflecting everything that he wasn't getting back, what he wanted. 
I hugged him tighter, "Alex, stop it...You don't tell me you're sorry. I'm not worse off than you. This isn't a who's trauma is worse competition. They're both shitty. They're both painful, and I am so, so sorry that you lost your brother. I'm so sorry that your parents don't talk about it with you. I'm so sorry that you miss your best friend. But you know what?" 
"Hm?" He managed to get out quietly, still clinging onto me. 
"I'm a big believer on people sticking with you. I'm not religious, I'm not even really spiritual, I don't know what I am. Humanist I guess, but I do believe that people who you love stick with you, even if it's just in memories, or their soul lingers. I can't ever know that, but I believe it." I rubbed his back.

He sniffled a little and nodded against my chest.
"I guess I don't know what I believe. I just hate that my grandma outlived my brother... She doesn't talk about him either. I just want my brother back. I want the nightmares to end." 
I hugged him a little closer, "How often do they happen?" I asked, resting my head against his. It felt really nice to be the one doing the comforting. I was getting really mad at myself that I couldn't pull it together. I know that I have every reason to not have it together, and realistically, I don't, but I'm safe right here and I know that. I could keep it together here. Take me back to my room or force me back into that school, and we'd have a whole different situation, but here, I'm safe.
"I don't know...I don't really count how often...I guess it's just a good thing I didn't have one last night." He mumbled.
"They're that often?" 
He nodded.
"I'm glad you told me about them. What else don't I know about you? I know about this now, I know you can play guitar even though I haven't heard you do it yet, but I'm guessing you're pretty good if you have an acoustic in here, a fancy one at that, and however many electric guitars you have in your dad's office...I know you can sing really, really well...I know you're 17 just like me...I know you have really good music taste...What else don't I know?" I smiled a little.
He pulled back, and I reached over to wipe his tears off his face.
He smiled a bit back, taking a deep breath and wiping his nose with his arm. Normally, I'd find that kind of gross, but I didn't. Not around him. He was my best friend now. He was my only friend, really.

He thought for a moment, "Well...My favorite colors are maroon and dark green...The first two bands who got me into music were Green Day and Nirvana...Since I could talk, I was singing...There's a picture of me at like, 3 or 4 years old with a toy guitar, standing in front of a mic stand, making some stupid rockstar face, even though I was probably just singing the Power Rangers theme song or Itsy Bitsy Spider....I turn 18 in December on the 14th..." I took a mental note of that, so six months from now. That made him six months older than me, since I just turned 17 two weeks ago. Happy birthday, your boyfriend is an abusive fuck. I paid attention to what Alex was saying again. "My favorite season is a mix between summer and autumn...I like sitting under big trees when the leaves are falling. I like to swim a lot in the summer, which excites me because in two weeks, we graduate, then the rest of the school school starts summer vacation, so we have like forever to hang out...So you know, if you wanted to come over, I do have a pool in the backyard..." He was blushing, so he probably thought he was talking too much again. I liked it though, no one ever talked to me too much, let alone talked to me at all. I didn't even realized graduation was so soon. I hadn't paid any attention at all. 
"Ummm...I like the snow, but I get cold really easily so I stay inside and drink tea and hot cocoa all winter long...Umm...I work with my dad sometimes...I think I already told you that though...My least favorite chore is vacuuming the house, and of course it's the one my mom makes me do twice a week...I write my own songs sometimes...I can play the drums a little but my mom would kill me if I ever brought a drum set here, so I play them at my friend Rian's house...He's the weird kid on the drumline in school...I can play a little piano but I don't own one sadly...My aunt does though, so I can play whenever I visit home...Uhm....I guess that's all I can think of." He mumbled.

I smiled, "We sound a lot alike. You know, I didn't even really pay attention to it, but I turned 17 two weeks ago. Well, technically twelve days ago. My birthday is was on the 18th. I didn't do anything for it though. My mom got me cake and some new clothes. My uh...You know who got me a punch to the gut." I shrugged, he made a face. Probably shouldn't have said that, but it was true. "I like Green Day and Nirvana too, but my favorite is Blink and my most favorite in the whole world is Jack's Mannequin, Something Corporate, you know...Anything Andrew McMahon does...I like purple...I like summer too...I completely forgot that I graduate in two weeks. I like to swim too," I smiled when he smiled at that, "My favorite thing to do in the winter is watch Home Alone...Well. I watch Home Alone all the time anyway. It's my favorite movie. That and the James Bond movies. All of them. I wanna see you doing bitch work at your dad's place. I hate loading the dishwasher and unloading it, and I hate cleaning the bathrooms. I can sort of play guitar, but I'm really shitty at it, since I stopped playing last year...And I want to hear you play drums, piano and I want to hear the songs you've written." I shrugged. My interests weren't all that special.
Alex wiped his face again, "We really are alike, aren't we?" He laughed a little.
"Funny, I'd find a person the most like me in the worst circumstances." 
I nodded, "Funny indeed. I was thinking about how the world just works sometimes." I smiled back at him.

My phone vibrated on Alex's side table. I reached over and grabbed it, still without letting go of Alex's hand. I was just as certain as he was that we'd probably do this forever.
"Hello?" I put it on speaker.
"Jack, how are you doing baby?" My mom asked, her voice of course, laced with concern.
I was just reminded of everything that's been happening since yesterday. 
"I'm okay mom...Alex is helping me a lot. We just ate breakfast..." I sighed.
Alex just watched me, squeezing my hand.
"I need you to come home" She said gently.
I shook my head, then realized she couldn't see it.
"Right now? Wh-why...I don't want to...Mom I can't be there, I can't...Please don't make me. Please." I begged, my eyes wide, my heart racing.
"Jack...Honey we have a lot to talk about. I do have to tell you that officers came into your room and found some other evidence, but we don't need to go into the details of that...We just need to talk." 
"Then talk to me on the phone. I don't want to leave unless he's coming with me."
"That's one of the things I want to talk to you about. I spoke to a counselor that the officers provided me a phone number for, and I explained to them about how you essentially latched onto Alex...She said it was really common for someone who just went through a trauma of your magnitude to get attached to whoever it is that helped them and comforted them...Who found them first...But that you still have to get past it on your own....I just...I want you to see her." My mom's tone was gentle, but I didn't want it.
"I'll see her if Alex comes." That was my compromise. She could take it or leave it.
She sighed, and she was silent for a while. So I spoke up again.
"I'm the one dealing with this shit. I'm the one who's going to be known as the kid with a fucking rapist for a boyfriend if the school or anyone else ever finds out, and they probably will considering he got arrested on fucking campus. I'm going to be the guy with no friends because of this douchebag. I'm the one who has to live with it for the rest of my life. I'm the one who kept it all a secret for two fucking years, and I'm the one who's never ever ever going to be able to see sex as a safe thing ever again, and do you know how bad that fucks with my future? Do you know how much I already realize all of this without some fucking shrink telling me? I'll go because quite frankly, I think I'm more fucked up than even I want to realize, but I'm not going unless Alex comes. I'm not leaving without him. He's my best friend. He helped me. He's the one who's been talking to me all night while I cried, while I had nightmares. He's the one singing to me literally all night long. He stayed up with me all night, just singing to me, and when he told me to get some sleep, I told him to sing to me more, and he promised me he'd stay up all night singing to me, and he did mom. All night. So no. I'm not going without him and if you try to make me, I'll just refuse to go. You can't physically force me. No one can." I didn't realize how harsh my tone was until Alex was squeezing my hand and just staring at me.

"Jack....Fine." My mom resigned, "Only if you make sure Alex himself wants to do this, and if his mom is even okay with it." 
Alex nodded at me.
"He says he'll do it."
"Okay. I need you to come home though Jack...You can't just stay over there."
"He can, ma'am...I know it's really not my place to tell you any of this or try to dictate what Jack does, but for now, until he sees the counselor, maybe it would be okay if he stayed here until he's ready to go back into that room?" Alex spoke up, his tone completely gentle.
My mom sighed again.
"I just...Okay. I guess. Thank you for helping my son, Alex. Jack, I'll come over with some of your things, but make sure Alex's mom is okay with this before I do. I love you son." She said sweetly.
"I love you too mom." 
She hung up the phone and I groaned, tossing my stupid phone down.
"I'm sorry I put you on the spot like that..." I said nervously to Alex.
Alex smiled, "I wanted to go anyway. I didn't want you to leave either. I'll call my mom. She's at work right now."
He got his phone out and dialed his mom's number.