ninjago one-shots [x reader]

Father Garmadon: Slang

"Dad–"

"I was bouta throw hands."

"Dad–"

"And so I asked her, 'spill the tea'. (Y/n) refused to and I deadass thought she'd get heated over it."

He didn't hear you calling for him across the courtyard. In fact, it was like he was ignoring you to talk to Jay in their trendy dialect. You sent a confused glance towards Lloyd. He shrugged in reply with knitted brows. "What's wrong with him?" he quietly questioned. You shook your head with a sigh. "I think he's trying to be cool."

"Cool?" echoed Lloyd. You absentmindedly shrugged and made your way to Garmadon. "Dad, are you busy?" He turned around with a warm smile on his lips. "Ah, I haven't seen you since this morning." he noted. You blinked, sending Jay an odd glance. "I think that was because you..."

"Were flexing on my dear brother? I have to say, I've got better drip than him."

Your jaw dropped and Jay let out a laugh that echoed throughout all sixteen realms. "Dad." you said. "No, no. Please don't speak like that." There was a hint of panic in your voice. It wasn't normal to hear thousand-year-old guy speak in Gen Z slang and to be frank, quite alarming. You were sure it caused a disturbance in the force.

As if reading your mind, your father said, "You're capping. My vocabulary is fire."

"Pfft–!" 

You glared over your shoulder at your brother. He had a hand over his mouth and another clutched over his stomach. There was a smirk on your father's face, but as soon as you blinked, it was gone. Jay grinned as bright as the sun. "Isn't this great?" He clapped your back. "Your dad sounds like us!"

You rolled your eyes. "No, he sounds like you Jay." He pulled you close to his side and gave you a good shake. "Oh come on, let him have his fun! He's high key enjoying this." You gave him a pointed look, but he only laughed. 

"Jay's right." your father cut in. "This is sending me."

Never had you wanted to dig your own grave and take an early rest in your own coffin so badly.

—

By noon, your father was still going strong. He upped his game and added new vocabulary to 'spice it up'. It was like his life depended on the new vocabulary because that was all he used throughout the day. Your friends, oh what traitors, supported him and encouraged the slang. They enjoyed seeing your father as a loose, trendy guy who instead of scolded people, walked around saying silly things like, "Alright boys, let's get this bread. We gucci?". 

Not only that, but he changed his footwear to neon yellow crocs. Cole even went so far as to buy him an IKEA bucket hat, loose jogging trousers, and a baggy sweater. Although your dad looked like a 2020 fashion icon or an Instagram model, you didn't like it one bit. He showed off his new Instagram page and went around taking pictures of everything. Talk about being overly Asian.

Your Uncle Wu didn't quite understand what was happening. As soon as he came out of the monastery, he was frozen in shock like a deer in headlights. He stood in the doorway for a good minute, marvelling at his elder brother's footwear and clothing. "What...is he doing?" 

"He's in a funk." you replied.

"A what?"

You shook your head in bewilderment. "I think my dad's gone insane."

—

"I am so woke."

You rolled your eyes.

"Yassssssss!" 

You caught his amused glance. He was only doing this to annoy you, wasn't he? 

"You're on point–oh, nope. That was a big yikes."

—

"Yeet that punching bag, son!"

—

Kai stubbed his toe on the side of a table and collapsed to his knees in pain. "Ow, ow, ow!" You winced as Garmadon looked up from his phone.

"Ann I oop." 

You wanted to scream.

---

"I'm so done with the weather today."

—

"Shook!"

—

"Sick!"

—

"High key fire!"

—

"I am low key done with today!"

—

"Bro, you just gotta dab on the haters."

—

The slang was getting on your nerves, and you weren't sure how much more you could take. Just how long until he stopped this madness and acted like his regular self?

Dinner rolled around and you decided enough was enough. This was getting out of hand, especially since your friends and brother joined in on the 'fun'. You put your steaming cup of tea down and eyed everyone at the table. "Okay. Dad and family," you heaved in a deep breath to centre yourself. "Would you quit the whole slang act? There's got to be a reason as to why you're...you know..." You made a motion with your hand and trailed off.

An awkward silence followed. It triggered an odd reaction of smirks among your dad and family. "She did better than I thought." Garmadon remarked. You scowled. "Better than what?" you snapped. Zane smiled and held out a hand in front of the boys. "It seems I'm the winner."

Lloyd sassily rolled his eyes, mind him, completely ignoring your question. "Zane always wins bets." Cole grumpily handed Zane a few coins. "That's because he's a nindroid. Whose idea was it to even place bets with him? He's the smart one!" Jay shuffled around in his pockets, sending Kai a dark glare. "Who else? Because of you, I'm losing all of this week's allowance to Zane!"

"Hey, don't look at me! It was Garmadon's idea from the start."

"Way to go Kai," grumbled Nya. "Why'd you have to give it away?"

Your gaze zeroed on the man only a few seats across the table. He sheepishly smiled, raising his hands in defence. "I was only testing your patience!" he innocently exclaimed. "Your friends said you've been having a problem with patience as of late, so I may or may not have been curious to see the extent of it."

You let out a long, tired sigh. "And you all were in on it?" There was a group of mumbled 'yes's' from everyone but Wu. He merely watched the exchange with a look of interest and awed confusion.

"Fine!" you shouted. There was a mischievous gleam in your eyes that Lloyd immediately caught. "Last person to my room owes me a large and very expensive cake!" You bolted for the door as everyone practically threw their chairs aside. Jay tripped over Zane's foot along the way. 

"Oh, come on!" he cried. "Why do I always have the worst luck?!"