Baby Maker

Chapter 22

After the doctor checked on me and made sure I used the bathroom by myself, I was finally released a few days later. I was still sore from not moving for three weeks straight, but I insisted that Jax take me to see Sterling immediately. I hadn't seen him yet and it made me anxious. Looking through the glass window, Jax pointed out our son. He was in a glass box, covered in wires and breathing machines. My eyes burned with unshed tears. He was so small and helpless. It was all my fault. I pressed a hand against the window as I sniffled.

"It's my fault. I'm so sorry," I cried. I couldn't help it. Jax tried to comfort me but all I felt was guilt. I risked Sterling's life to catch Siobhan. It was selfish of me.

"Stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault. Siobhan is to blame and she'll pay for why she did. You did all you could for our son, and I'm proud of you for it," Jax said sternly as he held me by the shoulders. After disinfecting and dressing in sterile covering, we were allowed to go inside. I put my finger in Sterling's hand gently. He was so small, I was scared he might break. I smiled lightly through my tears when his tiny hand squeezed my finger.

We waited and visited Sterling in the NICU for two weeks straight. Seeing as he hadn't fully recovered, it was the only way to see him. Slowly, but surely, cords were starting to disappear. Jax took off of work to keep me company at the house, and even Jax's parents backed off completely for the moment. I tried to use the breast pump to start my lactation, but it had been so long since I'd given birth that it was difficult. Finally, after another week, we were getting the green light to bring Sterling home. He was breathing on his own now, and almost fully recovered. As I swaddled him in a blanket, he stared at me with curious hazel eyes. He had a full head of soft, thin black hair too. He really looked like Jax. Taking Sterling back home felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Jax's parents were even waiting at the house for us.

"He's home," I smiled at everyone as I took Sterling out of his car seat and cradled him in my arms.

"Amina, we're sorry for what you had to go through with Siobhan. We saw how toxic she really is, and broke off the engagement permanently. She'll never come around Sterling ever again," Moira apologized. I shook my head as I sat on the couch with Sterling.

"Sterling is safe now. I trust Jax's judgement," I waved her off.

"Speaking of that, I want to make an honest man out of myself. Mom, Dad, I don't want Amina to have to worry about Sterling, and with me taking over the company fully, I don't want to leave Sterling alone to be raised by a nanny like I was. I want Amina to be able to raise Sterling herself. I want to marry Amina," Jax admitted. I looked up at him curiously. I knew that had been his goal the whole time, but I wondered what made him say something about it now.

"I think that's something we'll have to discuss later," Moira said unsurely.

"Mom, my life, remember? And Min can leave with Sterling any time she wants. If we get married, it'll be a bit more difficult," he reminded them.

"Moira, let Jax make the decision on his marriage. We already tried it once and our pick almost killed both Sterling and his mother," Donovan conceded. Moira sighed before sitting next to me and placing a hand on my arm.

"Please take care of Sterling and Jax for us then," she gave in. Jax smiled lightly as I nodded.

"We should give them space to adjust to having their son home," Donovan said with a sigh as he stood. Moira gave me a gentle smile as she reluctantly left with her husband. I sighed as I relaxed on the couch with Sterling in my arms. Jax sat next to me and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"I was waiting for the right time to bring that up. Thankfully, the worst is over. My parents agreed to our marriage; meaning they won't give you such a hard time anymore. My dad is pretty quick to adjust, but my mother will warm up to you eventually. She's already started to," Jax explained.

"Are you happy?" I asked curiously. He glanced at me before a smile so read across his face.

"Happier than I've ever been in my entire life," he answered. Esther came into the living room and cooed over Sterling for a moment before taking him to sleep in his crib. I leaned my head against Jax's shoulder as his arm went around me.

"Are you happy?" Jax reciprocated my question back to me. I smiled lightly as I played with his hand.

"I didn't expect to be allowed to stay when this whole thing started. I didn't expect to fall in love with you, or be accepted by your parents; let alone be able to marry you and keep my little family. I love you and Sterling. I've even come to see Esther as a mentor and friend. This house may feel boring sometimes, but you guys make it worth it," I expressed my feelings.

"Well, what do you think about coming to work at Signa after Sterling starts going to school?" Jax thought out loud. I sat up to look at him. I expected Jax to want me to be a stay-at-home mom until Sterling went off to college for some reason. It came as a surprise that he was willing to let me go to work.

"Why Signa?" I asked. Jax only smirked.

"It makes approving leave and sick days that much easier," he joked. "And I don't want you to be mistreated, so I'd prefer to be there to protect you from that happening," he added. I smiled slightly as my hand went to his cheek.

"I feel like you've gotten overprotective," I joked. He held my hand in his gently and before kissing it.

"I've let you get hurt enough already," he said sullenly. I kissed him gently before sighing.

"None of that was your fault, and I don't blame you. I'm the one who bulldozed into your life and messed everything up," I said honestly.

"No. You made everything in my life better. Before you, I didn't realize what I was missing out on. I love you so much for bulldozing into my life and loving me back," he stopped me.

"Let's plan our wedding," he said with a small smile. It felt like I was on cloud nine. I was willing to take on everything that came with loving and being with Jax and Sterling. They were my family, but there was one person I needed closure from before we did anything else.