Locked Off [SeungminXHyunjin]

twenty

HYUNJIN

"You don't really have a plan to tell him huh?" I looked at Changbin who's walking towards me and sits infront of me.

I'm just in the garden and it's already 7:00 pm so the air is getting colder.

"He'll leave anyway, so what's the point?" I said.

"Oh come on! Just spill!"

"It's not something that is easy to tell. Do you think I don't want to tell him? Of course I want! But- it's not easy to say. Trust me it's not. I wanna tell to everyone about this but it's just- hard."

"It's not hard Hyunjin, you're just scared. You didn't even try to tell them though. I swear you can breath properly if you let it all out! You can't just hide it forever." He said and throw a plastic to me.

"What's this?"

"It's the medicine that you asked me to buy. And I don't think that can heal you. That's not even the right medicine for your malady."

"Who said that there's a cure to my condition? Threatment can't even do anything, so as medicine."

"You're hopeless... Where's the Hyunjin that used to cheer himself up? Can you just bring him back?!"

"Tss that Hyunjin never exist though. Stop daydreaming."

"You're in pain aren't you?" He asked.

"I'm always in pain, what the fvck?" I said.

"Tell me, how can you let him go? When he's the reason why you want to live?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I'm asking..."

"Let's just say that I love him. That's all." I said. But he just smirked.

"You can think that you're inlove, when you're really just in pain, I'm proud of you Hyunjin."

•••••|

Breathin' but I've been dyin' inside
Nothin' new and nothin' feels right
Dejavu so I close my eyes
Let the demon sing me a lullaby

Today's a present that I don't want
So I'm wonderin' in this world
Am I really the only one
Who's been wantin' to hide out from the sun
And run...

I was about to open the door of my room but I stopped when I heard Seungmin singing. I never thought that Seungmin's voice is this good.

When we live a life
Always dreamin' for a dream to come true
So I live this life
Wanting somethin' I can't see
And something I can't reach
Or somethin' that could not exist...

I don't know what is this feeling that building inside me. How? How can I fall deeper to him? But I can feel pain at the same time?

I feel like I became a zombie
Not alive but I'm still walkin'
When the sunrise is upon me
I'll be waitin' for the day to pass by
Oh why

I became a zombie
And there's nothing that can cure me
So tomorrow I know I'll be
Just the same you'll see me
Wishin' to stop and close my eyes