the beginnings of jasper whitlock

Confide In Your Sergeant

When we reached the horses, I realize that I'd forgotten to cover up my own Stallion, Sundance. I fish the blanket from my pack and throw it over him. "Sorry, boy" I mutter, patting his side.

Tarrants still looks down about something. I shoot straight. "Somethin' else upsetin' you, Tarrants?"

The look he gives me confirms that something is definitely wrong. Looks like he was caught red handed, fist in the cookie jar. "I-I...there's nothing-"

"Don't even try that with me," I cut him off. "I can see right through ya. Now tell me."

He looks like he's ready to burst. And he does. "I'm not cut out for this, Sergeant! I can't do this stuff! I can't shoot a gun or fire a cannon," He slows down a bit. "I can't keep up with the others. Hell, the best I can do is read a map and that's barely enough to help anyone. I was a good student, but what good does that do me now? School isn't the real world. I just...I can't..." Tears prick in the corners of his eyes.

Useless. That's how he feels. He really thinks he's useless? I'll admit, I don't think he's cut out for soldier work, but to think he's useless?

"Easy now, easy. Do you really think you're useless, Jimmy?" All he can do is nod.

I almost laugh. But I don't think that would sit right with him. "Well, that might be the stupidest thing I ever heard from you."

His eyes go wide. "What?"

Now I do laugh. The look on his face tells me he thought he was in trouble trouble for speaking up. Poor kid. I say kid like I'm his elder. A year'll do that to you out here.

I put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Listen, Jimmy. Really listen. There is no way on God's great earth that we would survive without you." 

He shrugs off my hand. "Stop lyin', sergeant. I'm of no use to you lot."

I sigh. "Jimmy, d'you hear yourself? Where do you think we'd be without your mapping skills? We'd be dead by morning if we didn't have you. No way in hell any of those three-" I jerk my head toward the fire. "-know how to read a map, much less plot a route. And not only that, but those men appreciate you. Do you know how much money you've saved Jenkins and Hernandez and Daniel barterin' for them when we do stop? I'm sure if you asked any of them, they'd all tell you the same thing. And d'you know what that is?"

He shakes his head slightly, a hopeful look on his face. I'm sure he's been needing to hear this for a while now.

"That we need you, Jimmy Tarrants. We need you." I pat him once more on the shoulder, grab food and my thick coat from my pack, and walk back to the fire.

Jenkins and Hernandez are at it again while Daniels nurses a bottle of whiskey. Daniels perks up as soon as I step into the light. "Whitlock! Want a swig?" The liquor glistens in the firelight as it sloshes around the glass.

I grab the bottle, taking a deep swig. "Just the one. I'm gonna hunker down for the night after I eat. You have your fun." I open my pouch of dried meat and tear off a chunk.

"Suit yourself." Daniels takes himself another swig before passing it to Jenkins. The two have quieted down and Jenkins gulps down a helping of whiskey.

Soon enough, Tarrants find his way to the fire and sits quietly next to me. I eye him up and down, but there's no sign of the lingering sadness in his eyes from before. Not only exactly happy go lucky, but it seems like he was wanting to get that off his chest for a while now.

"You're on first watch, Tarrants." I finish up my dried meat and lay down next to the fire, throwing the winter coat over me like a blanket. After a long few days with little sleep, I'm out faster than a candle in the wind.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, I dream of Julia Montgomery.

* * *

I'm jostled awake by a grumbling Daniels. Probably more than a little hung over. He sludges back to his spot and collapses, asleep before hitting the sand. Time to start the rest of the day. I always like to take last watch. Keeps me on my toes early in the morning.

It's still early enough where the sun has yet to peak over the horizon. Though, dawn seems to show it's presence in the air. A deep blue saturates the sky.

I throw off my blanket-coat. It's collected a bit of sand from the late night wind. Just one more night until we're comfortably resting in an inn somewhere in Davis. One more night until I'm praised for a job well done. One more night until my squad can finally rest easy after a long journey.

I can't wait.

After stretching away the tiredness in my bones, I walk on over to the horses to check in on them. Poor horses are all exhausted, no doubt excited for some well deserved rest of their own. They've been good to us these last two weeks.

I pat Sundance's nose and shift through my pack until I find a carrot for each of them. They crunch on their treats happily. We'll have to stop once more today so we can feed them and give them more water, but other than that, it's a straight shot on to Davis.

I smile and pet Sundance's side. Just as I turn to head back to the group, I see the sun start to rise over the horizon. Orange streaks from the ground, sending rays of sun out into the world. It colors the clouds and opens the sky.

The crisp air fills my lungs, already warming in anticipation of the sun's arrival. We should head out soon. Alway better to leave early than too late. Beat the sun.

I look over over to the group, intent on waking them up, but one look at their tired faces erases my plans. Tarrants is dead asleep, breathing lightly. He finally looks like he's sleeping properly. No twitching or murmuring. Daniels is still trying to sleep off his hangover. Jenkins and Hernandez are side by side, facing each other and hand in hand. Inseparable as always.

There's no way I can wake them up. Another hour won't kill us. I take up my post on a nearby rock and bask in the light, enjoying the view for a little while longer.