the beginnings of jasper whitlock

Standstill

Scorching hot. It feels like every day is hotter than the last. Yesterday, there was a slight wind blowing around us but now the air is sticky and the heat settles on our bones.

It trudges by slowly. We make our way further south as quickly as we can, but there's only so long the horses can go without a break in this weather. By late afternoon, we've already stopped to take a break and water the horses twice. My own canteen runs low and we're all sweating through our clothes.

A few more hours. Just a few more hours, that's all. Jenkins and Hernandez are chittering like schoolgirls about what they'll do when we arrive at Davis. This time Tarrants joins them. Even proposing that they go to the market first.

He catches my eye and the smile he gives me shows that he took our conversation to heart. Good for him. Maybe he'll talk a bit more and even find Jenkins and Hernandez to be friends.

Hernandez gives him a thwack on the back of the head for something I didn't hear. Tarrants laughs it off. Or maybe they'd just stay strangers after this. There are only a few people that can handle Jenkins and Hernandez. And I'd say they handle each other pretty well as is.

Men get antsiest at this point in the journey. So close to the final destination yet, you're still in the middle of nowhere. Can drive a man crazy.

In the corner of my eye, I spot something suddenly. It flashes on the horizon like a coin catching the light while flipping through the air. I turn but all I see is a cloud of smoke. I could have sworn I caught the tail end of something. A leg. Some kind of animal? But just as quickly as I see it, it's gone.

Maybe I am going crazy in this heat. I realize that I've accidentally slowed down to look at nothing. Kicking my stallion into a light trot, I yell, "Let's keep a steady pace! Want to be as close to Davis by nightfall as we can."

* * *

The day cools quickly as night approaches. We make our camp about five miles from Davis. We're exhausted from the day's heat and collectively decide to hunker down. Though tired. Our conversation is lively.

Tarrants lies on his back, gazing at the stars above, a slight smile on his face. Jenkins and Hernandez are close next to each other, their arms touching slightly.

We eat as Daniels regales us with his tales of his hunting adventures. Claiming he's done his fair share of daring maneuvers. Riding a hog like it was a bull at a rodeo. Talking about how hard it was for him to hold on. How he was almost bucked off and trampled. How he could've died. I woulda believed it had it not been for his alleged age of being six. Still claimed it was all true. Our laughter echoes across the barren desert plain. Braying more like.

"Can't wait to get to Davis," Jenkins says, stretching his feet at the fire. "All those fine ladies. Waitin' for me and they don't even know it."

"Yeah, waitin' to hit you upside the head." Hernandez twists Jenkins' hat backward and pushes him to the side, laughing tightly.

Hernandez clears his throat. "And b'sides, what would those ladies want with you anyway. Some hot shot waltzes into town, pants down and y'think the ladies will get on their knees for you jut like that? Yeah, good luck with that." The disgust in his voice is clear.

Tension thickens the air. Jenkins rights himself. "And just whadya mean by that? Y'think that I just stroll into town and the ladies fawn all over me?" He laughs but there's no humor in his voice. "Takes a bit more work than that, Hernandez."

He just scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure it does," Hernandez parodies Jenkins' voice. "Look at me, I'm a great war hero even though I've never seen the front lines! Get a crack at me before I'm gone!"

That does it, alright. Jenkins is on his feet now and screaming. "Think you're so much better? You're just jealous 'cause you've never had a lady in your life. 24 years on this earth and you're drier than a desert in a drought. Just a pansy in men's clothing, that's all you are!" As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he looks like he wants to take them right back. Deafening silence fills the air.

Hernandez's eyes go wide. The hurt rippling across his face. Blinking, he takes in a deep breath and stands silently. The sound of his boots across the dirt mix with the crackling of the fire as he walks to the other side of the fire, further out than the rest of us.

"Javi...I'm...I didn't..." Jenkins stutters. Hernandez lies down, back to the fire, and doesn't move again. The only sign he's even alive is when his chest lightly moves up and down as he breathes.

Jenkins looks like he wants to say more, but shuts his mouth. No use in trying to talk to Hernandez like this. Instead, he sits himself down. The shame burns in his eyes. He wraps himself up in his blanket, lying down away from the fire just as Hernandez did. Even when fightin', those boys are always in sync.

A thick and awkward silence fills the air. Tarrants sits up and shuffles closer to me until he's within whispering distance. "They'll make up, right?" So he felt how heavy the conversation was, too. Like a hard crack of a branch cracking from the trunk.

It felt so decisive as Hernandez stood silently and walked away from Jenkins. There's more than a physical rift between them now. A sort of chasm, deeper than the Grand Canyon itself. I don't know what to tell Tarrants, so I go for reassuring. "Sure they will, Tarrants."

He doesn't look so convinced. Maybe it's 'casue I'm not so convinced myself.

No use in trying to salvage tonight. "Daniels, first watch." I say loud enough for everyone to hear. I lay my head on the dirt to try to get myself to sleep the best I can. Not so easy when the usual background noise is those two up and laughing their way through the night.

But eventually, with the crickets' help and the fire aglow, sleep takes me.