Random thoughts

Boy...

  Jeez.

  Here I am thinking I was done with you.

   Every fiber of my body got over you.

   But I guess things don't change because I'm still falling for you.

  Things were over, I promised myself l.

  It's been eight years.

  EIGHT YEARS.

For eight years I obsessed over you.

  Eight years of my life I spent thinking about you, until finally...

  You got a girlfriend.

  Yes, me heart shattered a little bit inside, but I still fought.

  But... I got tired of fighting... I gave up.

  I mean I freaking gave up.

   I sunk down... down.... down. The worst part.

  No one caught me.

   I don't believe it, but I know you're the reason why I hurt myself.

  Some days it was just me fighting... others, it was you too..

  You made me think that you liked me too.

  But, after your first girlfriend.. after I gave up. I pulled myself up.

  I helped myself.

   I pushed you to the side.

  You no longer crossed my mind.

  I was free!

  Finally free!

  I'd been clear of you for what... eight months.... seriously.. eight months

  You've now been in a steady relationship for maybe... six... five months and that hasn't bothered me.

  But now...

Oh boy.. now.

  You've just shoved me to the ground... but maybe you were there to catch me.

  I've stumbled a little bit for you, but I stood back up, reminding myself to forget about you but this time... you started it..m like you made the move.

  Sure, maybe it wasn't in purpose but hey, my heart is a jumbled mesd, and I'm kinda expecting you to clean it.

  I always put myself down though because as much as you 'fight' towards me, I can just say it's your personality.

  It's just who you are.

  But I have to admit... I haven't seen you do it to other people

  So... here's my question...

  Have you ever maybe... liked me too?

  By the way, that one day in bible study, I don't know why I opened my eyes during the middle of a prayer, but, yours were open too... I looked at you... why did you look back at me?

  You honestly scared me crapless, and your... you, I'll never forget that. It's burned in my mind... but seriously?

  I scan the room of all the people, eyes closed, and when I get to you... you just happen to be looking at me?

  That's freaking creepy...