Poison

Prologue

Alise Hawkins *

I ran from the apartment slamming the door behind me. I couldn't take this tonight. He had said he would stop doing drugs and straighten out for her. But like so many other things he said that was a lie. I ran down the hall and went to the stairs running down 3 flights before tripping and falling to the ground. She had 9 flights to go but she couldn't make herself get up. All she could think about was the way he had just slowly looked at her unable to comprehend how mad she was because of how fucking high he was. How stupid could she be? All the signs were there, he was using again she had just been too stupid to see them.

"Alise! Where the fuck are you?" Kaylen yelled from the top of the stairs. "I know you're there baby just come back. I'm sorry, I slipped up. But it's fine, I'm fine." He said a bit calmer now.
She contemplated what it would be like to just leave and not return to him and this shitty place. But in the end she knew she had nowhere to go. Nobody to go to. This was it for her. This was as good as it gets so she got up and wiped her tears and started slowing going back to her boyfriend of 3 years.
When she reached the top he took her into his arms smoothing her hair and breathing in her scent. She hugged him back trying to remember what it used to be like before he started doing hardcore drugs. Back before he starting hitting her out of anger and using all their rent money to buy more cocaine or heroine or whatever he was feeling like doing at that moment. They had been happy and carefree.
Alise met Kaylen in her sophomore year of high school. He had been exciting and mysterious which is what had made her take interest in him. Then when her mom tried to kill herself and was entered into a mental hospital to get help during senior year Kaylen was there for Alise. He made it better by taking her mind off things and getting her to go out and have fun. When they graduated she just went to the same college as him to stay close to the only person she was close to. The only person who knew her and loved her. After their first year they got an apartment together. Even up to this point things were good. Sure he smoked pot at parties but that didn't bother her because everybody did. Halfway into their sophomore year of college Kaylen's brother and best friend died and he just lost it. He started getting into cocaine and he stopped talking to Alise. She tried to help him just as he helped her years before but he was lost to her. He was never the same after that but she stayed because she couldn't bear to just leave him and give up. Even when he would take his anger out on her and hit her she forgave him. But eventually she realized that this wasn't going to work.
So at the beginning of their junior year she threatened to leave him. She told him she couldn't take seeing him destroy the man she loved and if he didn't stop abusing drugs and shutting her out then she would leave. It had worked at first but now he didn't believe her. He knew she was bluffing and he knew just how to get her to cave to him. So here they were stuck in the same harmful cycle.
"I love you baby girl. I'm so sorry it's just so hard to stop." He said in a soft voice she knew all too well. But she was too tired to fight tonight. She had worked a 12 hour shift at the diner today and she just wanted to sleep.
"I love you too Kaylen. But you have got to stop you are going to kill yourself." She said stepping back from their hug and heading back to their apartment.
Alise woke up to the smell of pancakes. She smiled a genuine smile for once. Kaylen hadn't made her breakfast in a little over a year. Her thoughts went to the night before. She knew she couldn't do this forever. She knew that eventually she would have to leave him if he wasn't able to straighten out. Alise didn't want to think about that though. Even though he was flawed she loved him and she didn't want to live without him. It was better to live with him and be unhappy because living without him would be unbearable.
She got out of bed and went to brush her teeth and put her hair up. When that was done she walked the length of their apartment to the kitchen where Kaylen was cooking shirtless. She noticed that he was even skinnier than he was last month. But she ignored that and wrapped her arms around him.
"Hey cutie." She greeted him grabbing his neck to bring his lips to hers.
"Hey beautiful." He said shyly. He always got like this after a fight. He knew how his addiction was affecting their relationship. He wasn't blind but he wasn't willing to stop either apparently. Alise knew how hard it had to be to stop an addiction like that but she also knew it was possible if you tried hard enough.
"Want one pancake or two?" He asked wrapping an arm around her while he flipped his pancakes.
"Just one I need to get to class pretty soon." Alise said this to remind him that he too had class in a short while. He didn't go most the time which upset her. He was slowing ruining his life and she hated not being able to help him in the way he needs. she was scared of him hating her and pushing her even more away. Alise knew she needed to send him to a rehabilitation center to really get him to stop. But he would be so mad and she just couldn't handle his anger. "You are going to class today right babe?"
"Yeah I'm going don't worry." Alise nodded pleased as he finished the pancakes and put two on a plate and handed them to her. She frowned and looked up at him to see him smiling.
"Why did you give me two when I said I only wanted one?" She questioned smiling too. "Because I knew you were going to want more if you only had one. Like always." He smirked knowing he was right. It was true she always did want more after only eating one. She kissed his cheek and poured syrup on her pancakes. She sat at the table and watched him go and fill a cup of orange juice for her. He sat the glass in front of her and walked to the bedroom. He yelled something about going to take a shower before closing the door.
After she finished eating she got up to wash of her dishes and her thoughts went to the night before. Kaylen had been doing so well. He had been clean for two weeks and although he had been in a bad mood from the withdrawals she had been proud of him. That was why it had hurt so much to see him slip up last night. He knew she was working a long shift and he purposely chose yesterday to relapse knowing she wouldn't be home to stop him. She had to admit she loved seeing him in such a good mood today but at the same time knowing it was because he got a fix was hard to deal with. Would it always be like this? She hoped not.
"Hey Al do you know where my light blue T-shirt is?" Kaylen yelled from the bedroom.
"It's in the laundry basket by the door of the bedroom." Alise replied looking out the window. She needed to do something different but she had no idea what.