The Bassist and The Basket Case//Mötley Crüe •Nikki Sixx•

Harrllows Past

When I woke up, I forgot about the self inflicted wounds on my wrists. I got dressed in a KISS T-shirt, A leather jacket, a pair of combat boots, and jeans. I grabbed my wallet and walked out into the living room.

"Hi guys." Is all I said. Nikki looked at me and smiled, probably because he thinks I've been okay for the past 2 days, (even though I don't know why he would care)which in reality, I have not.

Tommy spoke, " Hey Harrllow, we have band practice, so it might get loud." I sometimes forget that they are in a band.

"Oh. I was just leaving, so you idiots, no offense Mick, can be weird, loud and whatever the fuck you do, as much as you want, goodbye." I grabbed my Walkman, put my headphones on and turned it all the way up. I set off to find a job. I had just the place in mind too, the small record store from down the street where I bought that Queen record. I walked in.

Inside the store, there's shelves, rows, and piles of, cassette tapes, and vinyls. I made my way up to the front counter. A dude around maybe 40-50 greeted me. " Hello, what can I do for you?" He asked. "Oh, I was wondering if I could get a job here." I answered back. "Okay, name at least 1 song by Deep Purple. He's making this easy. "Never before." Is all I answered.

He answered again," Okay, you can work here, you can organize shelves and work at the counter, you start tomorrow." He gave me the fucking job.

"Thanks." I went back home.

"Hey fuckers." Is all I answered with.

They all answered with, "Sup," and went back to smoking and drinking. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer, went to my room and grabbed the cassette tape my mom recorded her last goodbyes and final hellos on. I sat down on the living room floor, leaning my back on the side of the couch. I took out the musical cassette, put it on the table, and put the other one in, I closed my eyes and I was soon in my own world and greeted by my mother's voice.

" Hey, it's me, your mom. I'm sorry to leave so soon, but this world isn't made for me. We've had our share of good memories. I know it's always been the two of us. When I'm gone, you'll find a new mom, along with a dad. I know your only 10, but there are some good orphanages and foster parents out there. I want you to promise me something...well, not promise me per say, but promise yourself this. You will never ever give up on your self, or those who mean the world to you. When your with your own kids and husband, be there for them. I wish I didn't  have to go, but I have to. I know this means we'll never get to watch our favorite movies or listen to our favorite songs together anymore, but it's worth it. And if your curious, I never did and never will tell you your fathers name. He's not worth the breath. He left us. I would let you stay with your grandparents, but I lost contact with them a long time ago. Keep me in your heart. I love you. Your the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I believe that I'm not the best for you. Goodbye HarHar Bean. Listen to the music I showed you. Don't let our vibe die. Be the star you always wanted to be, take over the fucking world, be your self, and fucking Rock N' Roll. Love you, I guess this is goodbye, so goodbye."

And with that I opened my eyes, brought my knees to my chest and buried my face in them.

"Um, dude, you okay?" Tommy asked.

I honestly don't know. " Tommy, I honestly don't know."

I looked down at my wrist and saw the bandaids sticking out."

I couldn't think, so I got up, " I can't fucking do this anymore, fuck it." I said so everyone could hear. I went to my room, and pulled out the switch blade my grandpa gave me when I was 4. He said I needed it for protection. I ran out of the apartment not caring who followed. I was half way up the street by now.