Malfoy

12 - Aftermath/Draco's Girl

TW: suicide

When you woke up the next morning, your whole body felt stiff and frozen. It was really cold in the tower still, although the window was closed now.

Draco was sitting with his back against the wall and his legs straight out in front of him. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't sleeping. You sat up and he opened his eyes, they were red and puffy. He looked so lost.

"Good morning," you said softly, unsure of what was going to happen now. Last night had been very intense and personal and private. You had seen a new side of Draco, it made you want to sob again. You kind of hated yourself and everyone else at Hogwarts. Everyone had let him slip through the cracks.

He looked at you. He was quiet but the look behind his eyes told you everything you needed to know. He was gone, he was broken inside, never to be fully whole again. A tear slid down your cheek and he looked away from you.

"I have to go," he said and stood up.

"Aren't we going to talk about this?" you asked, your voice shaking slightly.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm not going to do it again."

Your heart sank and more tears fell from your eyes.

"Seriously, I'm fine. I don't think I would've gone through with it. I'm sorry you had to see me that way," he said. He wiped your cheeks with his warm hands. His facial expression had changed, he was hard to read now. His face was stone.

Draco then began his descent down the steps. You sat waiting at the top until you heard the heavy door at the bottom close. Then you slowly made your way all the way down.

The second you got back to Slytherin, you ran to the girls bathroom and threw up. You decided not to go to any classes today.

You curled up in a ball under the covers on your bed and laid there for a long time.

I can't believe what I just saw last night. Draco Malfoy could've killed himself. He had wanted to. I don't know if he would've done it if I hadn't been there. I just don't know. I need to tell someone. I can't do this anymore. What happened to him?! I need answers.

You woke up and it was dark outside, sometime you must have fallen asleep and now it was evening. You heard a knock at the door. It was Raya and Molly. They entered cautiously, worried about you.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Molly asked.

"Yeah, you weren't in class today," Raya added.

"I just didn't feel well, I threw up this morning," you responded. At that, your friends backed up a bit.

"Do you think you're sick?" Molly asked.

"I don't know," you responded, "I need to get some sleep and I'll see how I feel tomorrow," you said, trying to sound reassuring.

Molly and Raya accept your explanation and leave the room, leaving you alone again. Your body feels weak from so much crying. You realize you haven't eaten anything today.

More than anything, however, you want him. You wish Draco was here.

You decide to leave your room to get some food and to look for Draco. When you leave the common room you don't see him anywhere. Dang.

After you get your food you head back to your room. The Slytherin common room is empty so you decide to sit for a few minutes, just to see if Draco shows up. After about two minutes, he does.

He's walking quickly, making a beeline to his room. His hair is messy. You catch his eye. He holds eye contact for a moment and then quickly breaks it and continues walking. You get up to follow him.

"Draco, please," you plead.

"Can we not talk about it?" he says and looks at you.

Your eyes well up with tears. A Slytherin boy walks past you two, "Hello, Malfoy," he sneers and laughs. You cross your arms and shoot daggers at the boy's back with your eyes. Asshole.

Draco unlocks the door and you follow him inside. He turns to face you.

"Don't tell anyone what happened last night," he says solemnly.

"But Draco, if you need help-"

"Don't. Nobody else can know." He frowns and looks at you. He brushes a hair from your face.

"Okay, I won't," you say, your chin quivering. "But please, Draco, tell me why," you beg him.

"No."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I don't know," he says and looks away. "I was just overwhelmed with some things last night but I'll get through it. You've brung me some clarity. I'm fine."

Your eyes sting with tears again.

"You can go," he says.

"You're kicking me out?" you ask.

"What does it sound like?" he says as he walks over to you. He grabs your shoulders and directs you towards the door. As much as you hate the gesture, it's more consistent with the Draco you've come to know.

Right before he pushed you out the door, he paused. He appeared to be thinking hard on something. Then he walked right out the door with you. You followed him into the hallway, surprised that he was allowing you to walk with him with other people around. Classic hot-and-cold Draco. Ha ha.

You still felt uneasy and upset, everything was still so new and scary and sad. But you were grateful for this little moment walking with him towards some unknown destination. For these few minutes you were going to forget about the hard stuff, you could just be Draco's girl. Kind of. Technically you weren't holding hands or anything. But walking next to each other in public was good enough for now.

All of a sudden, Draco's father comes around the corner. Shit, what was Lucius doing here! Draco quickly separates himself from you and puts his head down, leaving you standing alone in the middle of the hallway. Your eyes pool with tears and you quickly rub them away and run back to your room.

Fuck. Hot tears stream down your cheeks and you collapse on the floor, suddenly all of the emotions from the past weeks and yesterday hitting you with full force again. You loved him. You knew you did. But he was Draco and you were you.

God, why did you have to put this boy in my life?

You couldn't catch your breath now, the tears falling faster and you gasped for air. You needed him, you needed to save him. He wasn't mean or angry. He was sad. So small and so sad and so broken and nobody had ever seen it. He was the boy who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. You didn't know how you couldn't see it before yesterday. He was hurting. Every single fucking day.

As if on cue, you heard a knock on the door, it was a soft knock. You knew who it was, Draco was back.

You opened the door and he entered the room silently. Then he suddenly buried his head in your chest, and started sobbing. His cries were the worst sound on earth. They were so full of pain, a lifetime of pain and sadness. He was shaking and you held his head to your chest. It was like a sick deja-vu from last night.

"Im sorry," he cried. Gasping for air in between sobs. "Im so sorry."

Silent tears streamed down your face as you cried for him. You cried for the boy that nobody cried for, nobody noticed, nobody knew.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," he said.

You didn't respond, you just held him tighter. You vowed this time you would never let go.

You didn't care about all the bad stuff. He was Draco and you were his girl, his only light at this school. He didn't have to fake it for you.

Hi y'all. Its been a sad few chapters, i wanted to develop the characters more. More hot stuff coming up tho dont worry ;)