CORDUROY DREAMS || PAYTON MOORMEIER

attention🔆

payton was playing video games, again, with his friends. it's been 3 nights in a row and he just won't put the controller down.

"paaaaayton!" i whined, i earned a small groan from him, but his eyes wouldn't leave the screen. it was as if he was hypnotized.

i walked up to his chair and covered his face with my hands jokingly.

"move!" he shouted and ducked under my hands. i immediately felt hurt, so i gave up and went back to the bed. i grabbed my phone and scrolled through tiktok.

three hours later payton finally gets off the game and comes to the bed, paying no attention to me and going straight to his phone. we sat in silence for twenty minutes until he spoke up.

"what's up with you?" he asked slightly.

"what the fuck do you mean?!" i was already pissed.

"why are you ignoring me? like i came over to lay down and you can't even kiss me." payton starts getting loud.

"don't even, you sat at your desk for 5 hours straight for the past 3 nights, ignoring me!"i paused and looked up at him, "don't even try your shit excuses either."

"i just wanted some alone time."

"alone time? are you.. are you getting sick of me?" i calmed down and stared into his eyes.

"no," he presses his hands against his forehead, "i didn't mean it like that." he groaned and shook his head.

"i- i'm gonna go.." i get up and grab my bag, just to be stopped by payton grabbing my wrist.

"stay," his grip tightens, "please stay." he sounded genuinely hurt.

"i said i'm gonna go." his fingers squeeze tighter and i tried pulling away. "you're hurting me!" with those words, he immediately let go of me.

"i- i'm sorry." his eyes fell to the ground and a frown took over his face, as if he was ready to cry. my body softened and i walked closer to him.

"hey, look at me." i put my finger under his chin. his eyes slowly met mine again. "what's wrong?"

"i- um-" a stutter rolled off his pink pouted lips.

"what are you hiding?"

"can you please come sit?" he pointed to his bed and i nodded. we sat. "um, if i'm being honest i haven't really felt my best lately.. mentally," i bit my lip, "and i know that's no excuse for me to ignore you and play video games but i just didn't feel like doing anything else."

"what? payton you need to tell me how you're feeling."

"i know, i'm sorry."

"have you eaten at all?" i cupped his face and made him look at me.

"no.." he shook his head and looked back down to his hands.

"payton-" i cut myself off with sobs that left my mouth uncontrollably. "you're gonna starve payton."

"who's it gonna hurt?" my heart just shattered, literally.

"seriously?! it'll hurt so many people, especially me." he started crying too, "i'm gonna make some food." i said and he nodded.

we started eating, i made us mac and cheese, payton claimed it was his favorite meal. his left hand was planted on the table as he ate, so i took it and scooted closer to him.

"why would you do that to yourself?" i whispered.

"i felt like i meant nothing anymore, and i don't know why."

"please don't ever do that again, i love you so so much payton."

"i love you so much more." he looked over to me and down at my lips, leaning in slowly. he face was blank when he looked at me, he felt nothing anymore. his lips moved perfectly with mine. i reached up and grabs his locks in my hands and tugged lightly on his hair. his hands found my waist and he lifted me up, kicking the chair out from under me and pulling me into his laps, making me straddle his waist. he slowly pulled away for air, and his gaze never left my face. a small smile grew on his lips, "i've missed you."