Judge
LADYGINEER
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AEGIS OF NOBLE SENATORS
luckynadine
Good day Mr/Ms. Author 💗....The plot is good. A politics in an action story is a brilliant idea. The narration was detailed especially on the character's deeds, movements and gestures. The story also uses a strong and active verbs that can give a vibe to the readers "as if they were the character on the story". Jobwell done and Goodluck on your writing journey! Congratulations!
CRYSTAL LOVE
Galaxy_Amethyst
Good day, Mr/Ms. Author 💗
....As for the technicalities, I saw some typographical errors and I suggest to use shorter sentence when describing a certain setting or event in the story yet it contains a complete explanation and thought that you want to convey to the readers.
"Tamaan si Ryle ng bala at tumama iyon sa TIYAN niya. Mukhang nasa delikadong parte ng DIBDIB niya and bala at hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.... " - be careful with this kind of error, this is not as common as the other writing errors but be consistent on describing a certain scenario on yous story. But all in all you did a great job. Goodluck and Congratulations!
CONCEALED IDENTITY
Ruexblood23
Good day, Mr/Ms. Author 💗..... Story blurb was good. It's short but punchy and you choose a word that create an intrigue feeling towards your readers. The character's dialogue is an effective one since readers often pay more attention to it. Characterization is quite consistent and the view point comes naturally in every characters of your story. Keep up the goodwork. Goodluck and Congratulations!
NO ONE KNOWS
Erizzza
Good day, Mr/Ms. Author 💗 ..... Because this is an action story try to understand more about "action" and "pace" this will give you more ideas on how you manipulate every characters and especially it gives an impact in the plot of your story. The narration in the action scene is quite good and well detailed. Just improved a little bit of your characters dialogue and viewpoint. To express themselves better, their words and emotions must come together. But all in all, you did a great job, good luck on your writing journey and congratulations!
FUWCK: CAPTIVATING CHARLES PERALTA ChantaLita_94
Good day, Mr/Ms. Author 💗..... Because your story have a multiple genres I choose not to comment on the descriptive details that doesn't have the potential for action. The plot was good, not too predictable and interesting. I think you just need to use more of an active verbs that can give the action vibe and impact especially in the characters dialogue and in narrating scenarios. Good luck on your writing journey and job well done. Congratulations!
THE DEVIL AGENT
meanevv
Good day, Mr/Ms. Author 💗 ..... Blurb is good the gist is clear. You narrate the story so well, clear and detailed. The plot is compelling to read. Every end of the chapters give an impact to a reader and a vibe of excitement. Technicalities were all good, nice choice of words, not too deacriptive its just enough and relevant to use for action. Keep up the good work. Goodluck and Congratulations
