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Ace Visconti: Go For Broke

Ace rushes into Uh, Ohs sports bar still pumped with the excitement of the mixed martial art title defence he just watched. Female lightweight MMA champion Mika James knocked the challenger out in the first round and now Ace is ready for another thrill. He sits with his buddy Wallace. "Did I miss anything?" Wallace shakes his head. "Nah... they're preparing the bowl now!" Ace laughs out loud: "hilarious! The guy's going to try to swallow a bowl of slugs. Only at Uh, Ohs would they hold such a ridiculous bet!" Wallace nudges Ace and levels a wager. "Ten to one he pukes it out!" Ace looks at the idiot and the bowl of living slugs in front of him. His instincts tell him this guy's actually going to do it. Ace just cleaned Wallace at the MMA fight and he doesn't mind taking more of his money. Ace scrutinises the idiot just to make sure his gut isn't leading him astray. Most people would puke trying to swallow the first slug. But not this guy. This guy knows what he's doing. He's a winning horse. A sure thing. "All right... let's say double our last bet!"

Wallace nods and assures him he's going to lose. Ace smirks. "We'll see about that!" As he stares beyond the idiot preparing to swallow slugs, he's amazed to see Mika James at the bar in her signature tracksuit. They exchange a look. He points at his fan shirt and extends a thumbs-up for a great title defence, but she looks past him as she nurses a beer. Wallace sees Mika and nudges Ace. "She could kick your ass in two licks!" Ace scoffs. "That's a bet you would lose, asshole. I'm double her size and strength!" Wallace snickers. "I say you don't last ten minutes... nah... you wouldn't even last five minutes!" Wallace is talking shit just to talk shit. Before Ace can respond, a bell sounds and everyone goes silent as the idiot lifts the bowl of thick, moist slugs to his trembling lips. Ace stops breathing, narrows his gaze, pulls out his lucky alligator tooth, holds it in his fist, and just knows he's got a winner. In a few short minutes he'll be laughing all the way to the bank. Come on, idiot... swallow those slugs.

Ace doesn't understand what happened. He had Wallace dead to rights. His winning horse confidently slurped down the slugs one at a time as though he were enjoying a bowl of fresh sushi. Then he stops with the last one dangling out of his mouth... cocky little shit... He smiles and swallows... but the damn slug doesn't go down... not as he planned. Ace can see a lump oozing and squirming down his throat. It slithers down... but it must have tickled his gag reflex or something... because he instantly loses his smile. There's a silence. The idiot begins to squirm uncomfortably in his seat. The crowd goes... Uhh-ohh... and all of a sudden... a projectile of slug-chum shoots out his mouth and Ace hangs his head realising he just lost everything.

Wallace laughs out loud and slaps his back. "Told you so!" Ace doesn't say anything. "Tell you what... double or nothing if you last five minutes with Mika James!" Ace stares up at Wallace. "What's in it for you?" Wallace narrows his gaze. "Your lucky alligator's tooth!" Ace hesitates. Wallace smiles. "What? Thought you were double her size and stronger?" Ace looks at Mika, at Wallace, at Mika again and nods. "I'll knock her out in two minutes and then buy her a drink!" Wallace smiles, stands, and heads over to the manager of the club to make the arrangements. Ace stands and figures he may as well introduce himself to the champ.

"What the hell was I thinking?" Ace staggers to his wobbly feet. "Oh yeah... I wasn't!" Mika steps toward him. He throws a desperate right. She ducks with a grin. He follows with a left. She sidesteps and he sees black and a few stars fading in and out of existence. "What the hell did she hit me with?" He doesn't know. All he knows is he's on his ass again and his eyelids feel like cement. He forces them open and stares up at the timer. Thirty seconds. "How can that just be thirty-seconds! Either the timer is rigged or time itself has slowed down to an impossible crawl. Shit! I'm in trouble, but I ain't losing my lucky gator's tooth!" He doesn't know much right now, but he knows Mika's got him outclassed in every way except guts and luck. Ace stands on wobbly legs and smiles at one of the dozen Mikas swirling around him. He regards a dozen clocks, narrows his gaze, and calculates. "Four more minutes... I can do this..."