Give and Take

6.

Two hours dragged by.

With every second that passed, you considered different ways you could kill Strauss.

You and Hotch had barely spoken, only muttering relevant details to the job you had both been assigned. Some job. You'd been sat on the side of a deserted road across from the warehouse that Strauss suspected the gang were using, and hadn't seen a single person come or go in that time.

It was dark now, and you noticed that it was beginning to rain, small droplets landing on the windows of the car.

The lights in the car were off, to minimise suspicion, and the side road you were on had no streetlights. The only light came from a large neon 'CLOSED' sign on the shop next to you, the red glow bathing the interior of the car.

You sighed deeply. You'd think having had Hotch literally inside you you'd feel less awkward around him but apparently it only made it worse.

He glanced over "Are you cold?"

You met his eyes briefly before looking back out the window "Oh, no. Sorry. Just... tired you know. Even you have to admit this is a big waste of time!" You laughed, trying to ease the heavy tension that seemed to be sitting between the two of you.

Hotch didn't smile. "Well, it assists organised crime with their case. Besides, it's not like we could say no to Strauss."

You looked at him "Was that a hint of annoyance I heard? Aaron Hotchner complaining about his boss!" You grinned at him.

"I was not complaining, just stating the truth." You could see he was trying not to smile. "Strauss is an excellent boss."

You actually laughed at that, and he turned to look at you sharply. "I'm not disagreeing!" You held your hands up in mock surrender "I'm just saying she can be a bit... uptight at times. You know I'm right!"

He turned his head, still smiling. "This job is tough on all of us, she's under a lot of pressure."

"I know that, but you have to admit she makes our lives, yours especially, much harder than it needs to be."

Hotch turned towards the window, muttering something you couldn't quite hear, although it sounded like 'she's not the only one.'

You stared at him, but he didn't make eye contact with you again. Maybe you imagined it? You cleared your throat, continuing like you didn't hear him. "Anyway I was right about one thing," He glanced back over, waiting to see what you said. "We should have stopped for milkshakes on the way here, it was such a good idea and you shot me down!"

He smiled again, and you found yourself smiling back. Hotch smiles, genuine ones, were so rare. It was almost like he couldn't let himself have even a moment of happiness whilst there was suffering going on in the world. But occasionally he'd crack a grin, usually at one of Reid or Morgan's arguments, or at Garica's endearing, albeit sometimes stifling, love for the team. It warmed everyone around him when he smiled, and you thought to yourself how he should do it more often.

"That's because we're FBI agents on a surveillance mission, not teenagers going for a late night drive." He quipped back at you. The idea of Hotch going on romantic teenage drives with girls made you giggle, you couldn't imagine him as a kid.

"Yeah well, you must like some of my ideas, given what Strauss implied you thought about me!" You said it lightly, but he stiffened slightly, opening his mouth to reply then hesitating. After a few moments, you spoke again, more softly this time. "Did you mean it? You think I'm a good agent?

He looked at you, the red light from the sign making the features on his face look even more angular and sharp. "Yes." He paused for a moment, "Y/N you are an incredibly valuable member of the team, and it shouldn't take my approval for you to be aware of that."