Lara

Chapter 4

The next few days pass uneventfully, which I find to my liking. Having some calm and being less busy suits me. And days filled with zero drama. I did what I needed to keep my company going this last year or so, but I've realized having Brett in my life almost daily has been causing a certain level of stress. It's been less than a week and I already feel lighter.

Sitting in my favorite spot on the property - Mémé's rose garden - I marvel at how much I've changed in such a short period of time. I have to congratulate myself on becoming more adventurous. Nothing extraordinary but doing little things by myself this week has been an accomplishment - wandering the streets of this quaint little French town, stopping into shops or an art gallery, eating alone at a cafe. And not shying away from interacting with the locals despite the language barrier.

For some these would be small things, but for me, they are my version of being adventurous. Mainly because I don't ever do things alone, nor do I like to. Even after Brett and I were no longer married I still relied on Jade to do everything with me. And when Jade was busy it was Jake.

The thought of Jake makes me pause. I still haven't heard from him, and it's been almost two weeks now. I don't know what I'll say to him after what happened, but I'd still like to talk to him. Based on his silence, I'm guessing he is trying to work things out as well. With a sigh, I admit to myself it's complicated, and my mind and heart are in a jumble over it. All I know for sure is I've never felt like that kissing someone before. Granted I don't have a whole lot of experience to go off, but damn if I knew it could be like that...and if one kiss felt like that, I can't help but think what more than a kiss...

My phone beeps, rousing me from my internal musings. It's a text from my friend Anne - my one and only friend besides Jake. When Brett and I split, all of "our" friends turned out to be Brett's friends. So, I was left with the two I came into the marriage with – Jake and Anne. 

I tap on her text message as I go back inside with some clipped roses from the garden.

*Hey girl can you chat for a sec? I know it's early morning there so if you're not awake yet we can catch up another time!* her text reads.

I give her a call while grabbing a vase.

"Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?" she asks upon picking up.

"No, I've still been getting up early despite the time change. It's the afternoons that are rough. Don't tell anyone but I've been taking naps."

She laughs. "Who am I going to tell? Besides, isn't that the point of being on vacation - to do whatever the fuck you want? Or whoever?"

I laugh and roll my eyes at that last part. "Anne you know I'm not you."

"Despite my best efforts to change you, I know. But girl you never know - you might fall for someone while you're there. It doesn't have to be casual. Although you really should reconsider your no casual sex policy because I know how long it's been, and hon I don't know how you're managing!"

I can't help a self-deprecating chuckle. "It's not a policy really. You know I'm just more of a relationship type of gal." And besides, I think to myself, sex has always just been ok. Nothing like the earth-shattering experiences Anne apparently has. Plus, having only slept with one man my whole life, I'm nervous to put myself out there again.

"You paused. I heard a pause. There's someone already?! Please tell me I'm right!" Anne squeals into my ear.

Laughing, I set the roses in the vase and lean against the kitchen counter. "No, not really...the only person of interest I've met is the caretaker of the property. And yes, he is handsome and single as far as I know ..."