The Four Protectors

Forty One

1st Person POV

Everyone had finally gone to bed and there was nothing but silence wrapped around me. Annabelle had told us she'd explain everything once everyone got here so she wouldn't have to explain herself twice. Everyone was pretty drained anyway so they'd all drifted off to the various bedrooms Azriel had allotted. 

I told him I'd sleep later, and he'd narrowed his eyes but hadn't pushed.

That had been close to two hours ago.

I was picking at a scab on my arm when the sound of a car approaching stole my focus. When the car's headlights finally dimmed down, I realized that Desmond had finally gotten here. He clambered out of the car and made his way to me.

He stopped just a foot away, watching. His eyes scanned me from head to toe and before settling on my face. For a second I didn't think he'd say anything for how confused he looked. I knew he wasn't the best with words generally, and this situation was no doubt far out of his element.

But then he just shrugged his shoulders like he'd finally resolved his internal debate.

"I'm guessing you should be asleep," he taunted.

So that was how this was going to go.

"You're late," I retorted.

"You should stop picking at that scab or you're going to make it bleed again," he warned.

"Just as irritating as ever I see," I shot back.

He came to sit beside me on the porch step. Our shoulders didn't brush despite how close we were sitting. He gently pulled my hand away from the scab so I'd stop picking at it. His long fingers entwined with mine and we both just stared at our joined hands before glancing up at each other's faces again.

Any pretenses of teasing were gone and in its place was a suffocating silence as we both tried to figure out the right thing to say. Should I acknowledge the month we'd spent apart? Should I ask him what he'd been doing? Had we really been reduced to awkward small talk then?

God I was so tired of trying to be myself again.

"You can go to sleep you know. I think the couch is free or Azriel's bedroom is the first one to the right upstairs," I said finally.

Nighttime was when I didn't have company. When I could let the world push down on my shoulders without feeling weak. The darkness was kind that way.

"I'm not sleeping unless you are," Desmond said stubbornly.

"I can't sleep," I admitted.

My voice sounded dead to my own ears. I released his hand and leaned forward, placing my head on my knees. I didn't want him to see me like this.

I didn't want to be like this.

"You see them, every night," he commented. One of the last things I'd said to him, believing I'd never see him again.

I didn't nod but my silence was probably answer enough. My whole body felt heavy, begging for sleep, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't see their faces and wake up screaming and crying.

It would wake the whole house up and that's the last thing I wanted.

He was silent for a long moment and we both just stared up at the sky, lit up only by the moon. I glanced his way to find that the moonlight had hit his face at just the right angle.