Best of You [ChanCheol] ✔

19

It's been days and he can't stop thinking about it. Put a gun to his head and ask if he regretted his reaction or the kiss, he'd be a dead man.

Jihoon pestered him after the first week. He managed to brush it away and avoid the questions, but when things weren't getting better and the lack of Seungcheol's presence (and maybe the fact that every time the name was mentioned, Chan disappeared into a different room or tried to change the topic or just outright ignored it), Jihoon started putting two and two together. He wasn't dumb. In fact, he was one of the smartest people he knew. While that was a major factor, another factor that remained was Jihoon's lack of nosiness. Essentially meaning that he wanted Chan to tell him on his own.

His version of pestering was constant check-ins. Ranging from 'how are you's' to 'is everything okay'. Which, in any normal circumstance, he'd be able to manage. Though when he turned on his phone for the first time since that day only to be met with a bombarsion of messages and missed calls from Seungcheol, Chan couldn't keep his cool anymore.

He left his phone on the dresser, grabbed a jacket and stepped out. Looking over at Jihoon (who was on a break for the first time in what felt like years), he sighs. "Can we go somewhere?"

At the sound of his voice, Jihoon looked up. "Where to?" he asks, more politely than a brother should be speaking to their sibling.

"Anywhere that's not here." He starts to make his way to the door, but stops after a moment of consideration. "Please."

He waits outside for Jihoon who takes less than five minutes before he joins him. He spares a look in Chan's direction and, without a word, starts walking. Chan follows silently.

They call a cab, and it's not until they're pulling up to the curb that Chan knows where they are. Jihoon pulls out his wallet before Chan can get to his own and then they're climbing out.

"Hyung?"

"You haven't eaten today," Jihoon states as he walks on into the restaurant. It was the one they came to with Minghao and Seungcheol (when Minghao proposed.) It's been a while since then and for some reason, he feels a bit weird walking in. The place is empty; only two other tables are occupied and of course, somehow, they end up at the same table as back then.

For the longest time, they don't speak. Not until the waiter comes and takes their orders.

Jihoon shifts in his seat and when Chan looks up, their gazes lock. He hesitates; nothing needs to be said for him to know what it was Jihoon wanted to say.

"I'm sorry for abruptly wanting to come out," he starts. Choosing not to make eye contact, he stares at his hands, folding them together tightly. "I just, I don't know hyung."

"What makes you so uncertain, Channie?"

He hesitates. Does he really want to tell Jihoon? About what happened? About the way he reacted? Did he really want to tell his brother how unsure he was as to whether he regretted the kiss or his reaction?

Did he really want to tell him, and find out the truth?

"Jihoon hyung, can I ask you something?" There's a faint tremor in his voice; a quake that even he noticed and something he wasn't proud of. Why was he so nervous? Why, when he pressed his hands into his lap, could he not stop them from shaking? Why did it feel like he couldn't breathe?

"Of course," Jihoon replies, unphased. Of course he wouldn't be phased; he didn't know everything Chan was feeling. He could sit there and smile and not know how difficult this was for him.

"How did you know you were gay?"

Brows lifting, Jihoon looks taken aback, like that was the last question he had been expecting. Maybe it was. His expression morphs a second later into consideration and, unsurprisingly, he doesn't respond immediately.