Best of You [ChanCheol] ✔

16

When Chan comes out of practice, Seungcheol isn't there. When he hadn't showed up between their breaks, he thought he was just late. Perhaps even waiting outside. So, yeah, he's just a little disappointed to come outside and find nobody there.

Ungjae and Leedo greet him as they disappear in the direction of the subway. Chan takes a seat on the steps. He doesn't want to leave in the event that Seungcheol is late. Though now that he thinks about it, he hasn't heard from Seungcheol for the past two days either. He's been surprisingly quiet. Chan ended up calling the hospital only to be connected to random patients, which he didn't mind. He hadn't called in so long that he spent just a little more time on the phone with them. Otherwise, he checked his messages every now and again (more so than he would like to admit) in case Seungcheol chose to message. Unfortunately that was not the case.

Jihoon messages him, but before he can look at the actual message, his phone rings and oh fuck, he thinks, as Seungcheol's name pops onto his screen. There's a sudden rush of nerves as he fumbles to swipe the accept the call.

"Hey, you," he greets softly, his voice coming off scratchier than usual. "Are you done with practice?" he asks and a jolt of concern waves through Chan as His pronunciation and just the way that he's talking comes off listless.

"Yeah," he murmurs in reply. "We finished up not too long ago."

There's a few coughs, a little distant as if he's moved the phone away from his face. Clearing his throat, he releases a sigh into the speaker. "I'm sorry. For calling so late but I don't think I can make it."

"Is everything okay?" Is the first thing that leaves his mouth. His concern is plausible; Seungcheol being ever so quiet the past two days and then saying he can't make it is concerning. Something bad might have happened for all he knew.

He chuckles, low and rough, and then stops. "I'm just not doing too well," he explains. "So we'll have to postpone it. I'm really sorry. I know you were looking forward to it."

"I'm sorry too," Chan responds. He's not thinking, just speaking. "But we can do it next time. Like you said. So, don't worry, okay? Just work on resting and getting better." Even to himself, he sounds like a child clinging to a hope he can't even find. His tone itself is pleading.

The relief that sags his body when Seungcheol speaks is unbelievable. "Next time for sure. Until then, I'll work on getting better. And you better work on practicing."

"What?"

"It's soon, isn't it? The concert."

"Oh. Yeah, no, it is—"

"Practice hard. You got this." He stops speaking, the faint murmur of voices in the background audible to Chan in that moment. Then, it's Seungcheol speaking. First, to the voices in the background, and then to him. "I have to go, but good luck, Channie." The call ends before he can respond.

And Chan is smiling. Seungcheol never called him that before, and he doesn't mind it. But more importantly, Seungcheol believed in him. Which is an exceptional feeling.

Checking Jihoon's message, he responds and pulls himself to a stand. Calling for a cab, he recites the address and soon enough, they're pulling to the side where he can see his brother on the sidewalk, waiting.

"Have you eaten today, hyung?" He questions, shutting the door after paying the driver. Jihoon looks up at him in surprise which soon morphs into a gentle smile.

"I haven't. We can go get something now," he replies softly, tugging at Chan's sleeve the way he did when they were younger, and less often as they got older. He doesn't let go until they've discussed their options and decide on where to go; a little restaurant that offered various things. It was their best bet considering they haven't decided what they would actually like to eat yet.

"How was work?"

He catches the smile on Jihoon's face before he answers. "It was good," he affirms. "Bumzu hyung and I started working on a song together."

"Oh. It's been a while since you guys have done that right?" He vaguely remembers Bumzu. He was the one who helped Jihoon a lot when he started composing; assisted and let Jihoon run with the ideas he had. They had one collaboration, but that was it. Chan hasn't seen him since then. "You must be looking forward to it."

"I am," he admits. "I like working with him. We run ideas off each other and try out different things while staying in the sound we both want. Which is similar. So yeah. I'm a little excited." Though he's careful with his words, Chan can tell how excited he really is.

When his gaze flickers over to Chan, however, he freezes for some reason. "Chan, can I ask you something?" Sudden. Abrupt. Every synonym that could describe this moment pops into his head. Then, he has to compose himself because why is he suddenly nervous? Surely it wasn't something bad. He'd know if it were something bad. Chan nods his head for Jihoon to go ahead. "What's going on with you and Seungcheol?"

The question catches him off guard; out of every possibility in his head, he hadn't been expecting that one. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you have any sort of feelings for him—"

"Hyung," Chan intercedes immediately. "I'm not gay. I'm not attracted to guys or anything. Seungcheol and I are friends. Just friends."

His eyes narrow, eyes analyzing Chan's face. They avert just as quickly.

"Alright," Jihoon says. "If you say you're friends, you're friends." He pauses, like he wants to say something else, but he's thinking it through. Turning to look at Chan again, his brows furrow. "Were you guys not going somewhere today?"

"We were supposed to go to the amusement park. He called to cancel. Said he isn't feeling well."

"I see." Another pause. "Where did you guys meet again? I don't think I ever asked."

Chan bites at the inside of his lip. "He was one of the patients I was connected to," he replies after a moment. "I got connected to him twice and then he started calling me."

The way Jihoon's expression shifts as he realizes what it means is astounding. One second he's got this gentle and genuine expression and the next, he looks both alarmed and surprised.

"You mean to say—"

"Yeah."

"Do you know what cancer he has? What stage?"

Chan just shakes his head. In all honesty, he never asked because he didn't want to know. He still doesn't want to know because if he knows, he'll be able to deduce the approximate length of time left. He wanted to continue holding onto the hope that was held out in front of him.

"He's not responding to chemo anymore," Chan whispers.

"Oh, Chan. Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place to tell," he says. "He said he'll stick around for long."

They stand there, in the middle of the street and only a few blocks away from the place they were going to. They stand there, face to face, as Jihoon pulls him into a hug. He doesn't say anything; doesn't offer false promises or assurances. Just hugs him.

"I don't want to lose him." His voice cracks. Wrapping his arms around Jihoon, he hugs him tightly. Clinging. As if this would keep Seungcheol around for a longer time period. As if it will miraculously make him better. Chan knows it won't; that's when the dread first settled in. He may actually lose Seungcheol.

Jihoon strokes his head. "I know, Chan," he whispers. "I know."