HOUSE OF FIRE

Chapter 7

      The black gloves worn over my hands do not sit well with me, but while the tattoo on my biceps can be covered by clothes, the ones in the centre of my palms cannot be covered. So whether I’m within the academy or out of it, I have no choice but to wear gloves. Steven wants to hide the fact that I’m an Elementalist, apparently, that’s what people like me and my ancestor are called. A one of a kind conjurer with powers that is beyond one’s imaginations. It’s my fourth day, and I’m back in Amelia’s study. She’s once again seated in front of me with a clipboard and a pen, legs crossed over one another as we stare at each other in silence. I notice she isn’t in a cheery disposition unlike yesterday, and wonder who pissed in her teacup. “so, Steven told me of what you guys did yesterday.”

       “did he?” I ask, snorting.

     “look, I want to be here just as much as you do Coral.” she sighs, uncrossing her legs to lean forward. “but you can’t bail on having this therapy session and I can’t bail on actually helping you.”
    
     “I thought we agreed to start off the light?” I ask, my tone sarcastic, and her face fixes into a hard glare.

     “try as you might, you can’t avoid facing your problems. Now you can either quit the smart ass replies and be serious here or you can continue to joke around and I walk out of this session. I’ve hard a crappy day and would like nothing more than for you to give me a reason to kick you out right now.”

     Taken aback, I blink a couple of times as I stare at her, unable to come up with a response. “are psychiatrists supposed to be this snippy with their clients?”

      “can we just focus on the main issue here?”
  
      “fine,” I reluctantly concede, a grumble slipping out of my lips. “what do you want to know?”

     “let’s start with the night of your parent’s death, you witnessed it right?”
Sucking in a harsh breath, I nod. She didn’t even subtly ease into the question. Unconsciously I wrap my hands around my body as my knee starts to bounce, the feeling in the study has gone from tense to claustrophobic and I wonder why it’s suddenly so hot in here. Pulling at the collar of my shirt, I shift uncomfortably on the couch. Raising my eyes I was startled to see Amelia watching me inquisitively, and frown in puzzlement. Slowly dropping my arms, I fold them on my knee and look down. “and your fear over a fire started from that day?”

     “yes.”

      “Can you describe how you feel whenever faced with the sight of fire?”
 
       “fear I guess. Blurry images of that night flash in my mind and then it becomes harder to breathe. Before coming here, I used to have nightmares, though I could never seem to remember the content of my dreams whenever I woke up.”

      “Okay, this is good progress. Why don’t you explain to me how you feel immediately after you wake up from one of your nightmares.”

      I hesitate, thinking about it for a long minute, before responding. “pain. My heart races and I’m always out of breath, and there’s this heavyweight in my chest that feels like it’s being dragged down by something. It feels like someone tied my heart to a large boulder and dumped it into the middle of the ocean. It’s really,” I frown, thinking of the best word to describe the feeling. “uncomfortable.”

      “so, basically, you felt pain, burdened, and suffocated?” she asks, to clarify, and I nod. She jots down in her journal like she always does before asking.

        “you say the images that flash within your mind when you're having a panic attack are murky correct?” I nod once again, raising my eyes to stare at her. “do you think they appear that way because subconsciously you don’t want to remember that night?”
 
    “what do you mean?”
  
       Leaning forward she sets aside her journal and starts to explain. “usually, when people are traumatized they experience what doctors call PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder. It is a mental illness triggered by witnessing or experiencing terrifying events. And some of the symptoms usually include nightmares, flashbacks, severe anxiety and uncontrollable thoughts about the traumatic events. Listening to you talk about your anxiety, I think your most likely suffering from this illness.”