My Story

One shot: "We're meant....."

(Updated/typo fixed,AN: don't be afraid to comment your thoughts, don't worry I don't bite, also I'm shy too in irl XD)

I started to notice that i'm more attracted to guys after the second year of my high school. Before then i haven't dated some girls, it never really interest me to build a relationship back then. Although some of my friends kept talking about their girlfriend, of how fun it is to have one, or how heart warming it is for someone to care for you...

But it never occurred to me, i don't feel the need to have one, in fact i'm more happy hanging out with just my friends, right now they're the most important people I have.Whenever i'm with them i felt that i'm home and I don't have anything to worry about.

That's the time iv'e felt that something was wrong with me, days would come by, but this anxiety in me just keeps growing. Mostly when i'm with my best friend, I act flustered whenever i'm with him, on times that we're alone.

" There's really something wrong with me." I muttered.

~~~~~~

" Hey, Nara...hey," i heard a voice behind me. I was in deep thoughts.

" Fu-ka-za-wa!" the voice yelled at me. As i heard my surname I turned my back and saw him, it was Kazunori, Nishioka Kazunori, my best friend, a caring guy, a bit popular and friendly compared to me, handsome and goofy from the girls perspective.

For me...he was very kind, although i'm a little snobbish way back. There's this time that i was in a relay race with him. The other people on the team with me never really did care if i'd do my best to win..... but him, he was different. He did care at winning, he approached me, and talked to me that we need to win this, if the whole team wouldn't think that way, we'd lose. He smiled at me, that moment i thought he was very weird. Would any guy do that to another guy?

After that encounter we eventually became friends, and his friends are even glad for me to join them. They were very nice and of course him. I even forgot on when have i ever been good buddies with him. I thought i'm just fooling myself with this weird feelings.

" Hey Nishioka! how's it goin?" I said. Nishioka is his last name.

" Lately you've been acting pretty weird, sometimes you're a bit jumpy," Kazunori said, i saw he's brow knitted at the end of his word.

" Huh, what do you mean, i'm a-always like this," my voice stuttered. I switch my eyes at the side.

" I'm a little worried." There he goes, with he's worrywart act, i don't know if he'd ever done this thing with his other friends or is it just me. Whenever i heard he's caring voice, it always softens me, these words of his will just make my hopes up.

Although both of us are in this circle of friends, right now i can see him in a different light.

~~~~~~

I have set my mind to store these feelings of mine away and try to change myself, i dated some girls. And now my friends see me as some flirtatious frivolous guy, my time of spending it with Kazunori has lessen.

But it didn't work, i kept dating and dating different girls, but it just won't work, we eventually broke up after spending a few weeks together. I tried too love them back but..... i just can't.

We're in college now, right now we're having a drinking party at some small restaurant with friends.

" You've done it Fukazawa!, for how many girls is it?" my friend said mockingly.

" Aww, don't make me look like some gigolo in front of her!" I hollered.

" Heh...don't worry you're always like that, she has to know too right? no keeping secrets to your lovers right," he snickered. A fake smile came into me, this guy, always making jokes about me, someday that clown Kenji will get pummeled by me.