My Story

This is it!

"My Story":

"I'm..............18 yr's old."

I can't believe i'm 18 yr's old, i'm way to childish to be 18. I covered my face with both hands, shrugging my shoulders- sighing. As I flopped myself on the soft covers of the bed, I turned my back on the wall- arching. I was in deep thoughts.

.....I've always wondered why i'm at this age and how come time flies so fast. Iv'e been realizing a lot- that i haven't done a single thing worth mentioning in my life, iv'e been very boring and childish the whole time. I keep running and running away from all the things that kept on hunting me from the time I started growing up and learning all my responsibilities. All the time iv'e spent on getting taller have made me thought that life is definitely hard and complicated.

I glance up the wooden ceiling, nonchalantly staring at space. There's always a time that I kept thinking on dying- that if I die right here and right now no one would ever care or ever change if this happened.

"..........but I cannot." I'm too scared to do it, just the thought of holding a thing that'll end once life terrifies me.

Those people who committed suicide-although they're escaping from these hardships the world had shone them, I think for myself that they're one of the most bravest people out there.

" I'm a coward, a big big coward." I uttered, trying not to be emotional.

There are things iv'e pictured on my mind, I saw myself die many times. I had this dream once, there... I died on a chair. Knowing how it feels to die in seconds....I've never wanted to go through that stuff again, i'm terrified, I'm scared of getting cut, I'm scared of not being able to stand and walk again, to see these never ending cycle in front of me everyday- though all these things never really mattered to me, or never did have I shown interest on becoming one of them...

" I love them, .....I'd always care about them." A gentle smile forming on my face.

Although time keeps repeating itself a thousand times, not just thousands, it keeps going and going- like a ball rolling down on an endless road. I gazed upon the wired window, glaring on the bright rays of the sun going through. It bores me, seeing the grass swayed gently by the cold breeze of the translucent wind. I'd get tired everyday- going through these same ordinary life, I've always wish that someday comes an unnaturral event that would visit this still life, the world we're living in.

I sat back up, placing my feet on the side of the bed, sometimes I thought of bad and unthinkable things, that I wished will happen on people I know and places Iv'e been that I did not thoughtlessly care of. But I know, this is just me thinking, I know i'm very pessimistic about life and I don't even think that will change for now.

" Life." It defines the word beauty, I should be thankful that I'm here still standing on my two feet, experiencing it's wonders and meeting amazing persons that showed me different things and sometimes gives me smile. I stand, as these thoughts flows into me. I worked my feet in front of the wall with the window and placed my elbows on the little counter it left from being open towards the outside.

The cold atmosphere of the air brushed on my cheeks, it was cool and somehow very calming. Some people have dreams but some are don't, but some are like the river that follows the flow and just do what they asked to do. But me, i'm just a stubborn one who doesn't listen and keep on doing my own stuff. But i have this dream...... everyone does.....

I've always given up all of my dreams, even up to now. I sighed heavily, blinking my eyes at the sight of the beautiful nature outside the house.

I never would have thought how much time passed anymore. Everything seems to go by just a glimpse. Reminiscing about myself, I think I've change just like others too...but not much. " Heh," I slightly chuckled from my judgement.

I sat on the chair in front of the small study table with a book shelf on it. There where several books carefully arranged neatly in rows. My gaze fixed on the wall attached with a few posters. I grabbed one of my figures and focus my eyes on the excellent carvings.

" How cool." Looking at the overview of my collection, it was colorful, beautiful and touching.

It was touching because, their my fruit from all the hard work I've done these passed weeks and months- on the first day I got a job with the help of my sister. They grew so fast, and inspired me a lot.

" Anime, what an amazing invention." That's right, I'm a geek- an otaku to boot. A stupid careless expression form on my boring features.

I didn't know when did I start liking this stuff, but my friends and not only the nature around me made my fandom rich, it showed a different world, where I coudn't be bored and keep on living, I know this is very stupid for me to even mention, but it changed me, without it i'd be nothing, I don't know what to talk about, it also gave me this talent of being able to create something, and....

" This is it."

~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~
How very corny and so melodramatic isn't it? That's on my mind at the process of writing my thoughts XD.
The second story is a one shot, genres are shoujo, shounenai, slice of life, drama, and romance.