Dinala ako nung babae papuntang Park ng Ospital. Yung babaeng laging suot-suot nya yung white dress nya? And me, i'm still in my hospital gown and i don't like it. Pero binalewala ko na lang 'to.
Hindi ko parin nakikita ang mukha nya. Kainis! Pero sabi nya magpapakilala daw sya sakin. Good. Sa wakas at makikilala ko na rin sya! Binitawan nya yung kamay ko sa gitna ng park. Lumakad muna sya ng ilang distansya sa'kin habang nakatalikod pa rin. And i wonder where are the people here? It's so peaceful.
"Gusto mo ba talagang makilala ako?" she asked.
Ewan ko ba't parang gusto ko na lamang umatras at sabihing wag na lang. I'm feeling anxious. Pero gusto ko rin namang malaman kung sino sya.
"S-sure. yeah", sabi kong nauutal. I'm f*ckin' nervous!
"And please promise me don't freak out"
"As long as it will not make me freak out then why not?", i said in her back and crossed my arms.
"And promise me Jake, please be strong in your operation tomorrow...fight for it! Help yourself and hopefully the operation will be successful. I'm here for you. God also is there for you. I'll pray for you. And if you'll know something, please still grab it. Take the chance. Someone offered a heart for you She chose to give her heart to you. She just want you to be happy Jake with the girl you really love and to live long with her. But I think she's wrong because she just discovered that you love her... but it's too late now... "
but it's too late now... What? I don't understand. Anong pinagsasabi nya?
"You saying?", naguguluhan kong tanong pero hindi ito pinansin.
"And Jake, please take care of your new heart for me", and i heard a sob---from her.
"... a part of me will be yours forever, my handsome Jake", dun naman ako nabigla sa sinabi nya. Only one girl calls me that name! Only one familiar girl who made that name for me. Oh please, no. God! I can't---
Tsaka naman sya dahan-dahang lumingon sa'kin. Parang sasabog na yung dibdib ko sa kaba. Nang nakaharap na ito sa'kin ay agad tumulo yung luha ko. Oh f*cking no! NO!
Her brunette curly hair that i just let passed when i had this doubt for how many days when she's alone with me and just stare at the window. Her favorite white dress that i bought to her that she'd liked to wore whenever we had a friendly date before. Her good physique. Her chinky beautiful charcoal eyes that always smiles when she laugh or smile. Her pinky cheeks. Her nose that sometimes i liked to pinch. Her beautiful smart mouth. Oh hell, really, i'm in hell! God! This ain't happening!
It's not her...no, it's not really her! She's not my heart donor! She can't be! This is just a bad dream impossible to happen!
"I'm your heart donor, Jake... " she said in her angelic voice then, smiled. She looks like an angel sent to me from heaven! No, what am i thinking? I can't accept her heart! I just can't! I'd rather die than without her. I just can't imagine my life without her!
I cursed and cursed. Then there's this angelic voice of hers and smile that made my heart erratic for how many times even though this coro-f*cking-nary heart disease tortures me! Sa mga araw na yun na hindi ko pa napagtanto kung gaano sya ka espesyal at importante sa buhay ko. I had no clue. And now...
"Jake...Promise me to take care of your new heart for me. A part of me will always be yours, my handsome Jake. Be strong for your operation tomorrow. Please..." she's sobbing habang sinasabi nya ang hinihiling nya sakin. She let me to promise her about the success of the operation! Na sa tingin ko'y walang kwenta na naman kung wala nang pusang laging nanghihingi ng rocky road ice cream sakin! Wala na ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko. What's the sense of living in this f*cking world without her? None.
